Bi-Wedding Diaries

Love Apples & other Growing Things

2010-06-07T22:54:00.005+01:00

When Alex and I got our first wedding present, the tag on the gift bag read 'Love Grows.' But even months before that, the 'seeds of love' were already winging their way to us in the form of Love Apples.

Now, I didn't know this before, but 'Love Apples' are another name for Tomatoes. Um, can you already see how cool that is for two newlyweds embarking on growing tomatoes for the first time!? In a secretive envelope, a dear friend has enabled us to grow our own love apple alley of heirloom tomatoes. A month after planting, look how well their doing:

Out 32 seeds, 21 plants of 6 different varieties have sprouted and have now been transplanted into (temporary) larger homes. On top of that, the sunflowers, marigolds & strawberry seeds addressed to The Brides have shot up like there is no tomorrow and so far our house-warming rose plant, spearmint, pineapple mint, rosemary, cilantro & basil are all alive & well!

In the midst of cultivating our relationship, we're also nurturing our green thumbs--and we're becoming quite fond of having growing green things around! It's also made me start to think about what other growing wonders we'd like in our garden (if you can crave lavender, then I've been craving a lavender plant for over a year now), and it's inspired a bit of wedding planning too, in terms of gift registries. I mean, c'mon, how cool would it be to have a strawberry tree as a wedding present:

The Full UK Wedding Recaps

2010-05-29T13:43:00.003+01:00

Hello lovelies!!

We're married!! On April 17, we tied the legal knot and just over a month later now, we are just getting back to the real world again (blogosphere included) and I'm now officially allowed to stay in the UK. Double awesome.

What's awesome again is that I've finished recapping the UK wedding for So You're EnGAYged, the awesome gay community wedding blog daily publishes that love is all around us. Since it would be a bit silly to post it all again here, I encourage you to go check out the latest over at SYE and get a feel for how our UK wedding came together (Hint: It rocked my world to the very core).

The Rest of the Evening...

And guess what....? The wedding planning is SO not over. A rainy day in England meant that Alex and I have started to revamp our wedding website with a new California look! Bring it on, wedding website re-launch, new Save the Dates, and a whole new wonderful wedding to the love of my life...

Wedding Week: Paul Arrived!

2010-04-15T21:37:00.001+01:00

No photos, but Paul arrived safe and sound at 7:30 am-- 4.5 hrs before they closed the British airspace.

All exhausted and very happy in Cornwall.

Wedding Week of Photos: A Day Trip in London

2010-04-15T00:22:00.000+01:00

Wedding Week of Photos: Mom Arrives!

2010-04-13T23:48:00.002+01:00

Mom arrived at Heathrow Airport!!

Had to take a photo in front of her first Marks & Spencer (Terminal 5 at Heathrow)--and make a reference to Calendar Girls within her first hour of landing....

Together again!!

With her fabulous new luggage from Corey--rockin' style...

She's so cute waiting for the lift to take us to the Underground: World Traveller.

And she made it to Tooting--and took a picture of the flower stall first thing. (And now she's fast asleep--12 hours later!)

Wedding Week in Photos: Cards & 1st Present

2010-04-12T23:59:00.003+01:00

The wedding cards have started arrive... I can't say that we've been able to wait to open them. Many contained RSVPs cards that people didn't want to trust the Royal Mail with on their own. The snuggling seals and the Mrs. & Mrs. are pretty awesome.

Then our first package arrived today! And, well, we asked 'What Would Christy Do?' and opened up her! (Look! It says "For the Brides" Eek!)

Along with a beautiful card inside, the tag on the (Liberty of London by Target!) bag said "Love Grows..."

What is it? What is it!?

Strawberries, sunflowers & marigolds! Put these together with the love apple seeds we received earlier this spring (i.e. heirloom tomatoes!) and we're gonna have a beautiful (newlywed!) garden this summer!

Wedding Week in Photos: Programmes

2010-04-12T23:46:00.003+01:00

We are officially in the week of the wedding--Yes! Kicking off the week was the printing out of the programmes, or Order of the Day. With so much jam-packed into one day we couldn't see going without, but wanted to definitely do with the ribbon and playbill style programmes. So, we decided to write a letter to our guests. Part a little love story, part excerpts of the ceremony poetry, equal parts functional and grateful--we are quite pleased with our creation if we do say so ourselves....

Designed on faux letterhead for The Fowey Hotel, we wanted to carry through the day the theme of our relationship being transatlantic--both long distance for a year, and that our lives are transatlantic. Hence, the airmail envelopes.

And the ampersand. The joining us our lives together. There are two fonts in the letter: script and type. The first time the ampersand appears in the script after the envelope is at our signature: Alexandra & Erica.

Ta-da!

The Hag Do

2010-03-26T11:02:00.004Z

We weren't hens, we weren't stags, so Best Man Tom named us 'Hags.' Dinner and then off to the Peacock Bar in Clapham Junction. It was a good night to be had. Here's a few of the cute pictures...

Put a Ring On It (In the Post, That is)

2010-03-15T20:11:00.003Z

Our rings arrived today!!! I might be wearing mine as I type; Alex might be wearing hers while she cooks. We're never going to tell, but I can tell you that they don't feel like ours. Not yet, anyway.

AND, can you guess what song came on the radio (yes, I'm totally serious) when we went to open the USPS box full of silver and gold love: 'Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)'. Yep, seriously awesome.

So in honor of our rings arriving, the wedding just over a month away and the giddy-gay vibe in our flat right now, I give you Glee's version of Beyonce's 'Single Ladies:'

We might just have to play this song at the wedding.

Posting our UK Wedding Invitations

2010-03-07T21:16:00.004Z

At the post office, we stole the counter for ourselves and put on the stamps and airmail stickers.

Would you believe it, the International Stamps were even purple to match our wedding colors--and we didn't even have to ask...

Ms. Alex smiling with the stack of ALL the invites.

Posting them through! (We kissed them for safe travels.)

Yay! I posted the English ones through...

....a few at a time.

Celebratory coffees & scone!

Celebratory lunch! (We do like our food.)

A Week in Photos

2010-03-02T22:27:00.009Z

It has been a joyful week of the letterbox (& mall) and the camera has been at hand to capture it all so I thought I'd share in photos this week....

Tuesday

My amethyst necklace arrived from Etsy's Artwark!

Stunning...

Wednesday

Our invitations arrived in the post from Etsy's Baumbirdy.
ECO & GORGEOUS!

(The first one was addressed to my parents!)

Friday

Our Certificate of Approval arrived in the mail! Almost exactly 8 weeks to the day. There was serious dancing that took place upon its arrival!

Saturday

At day at the mall with esteemed friend & UK guest, Donna, brought the good fortune of finding Alex's UK wedding shoes. Gorgeous black wing-tip boots with skinny laces. (Apologies for the poor photograph.)

Monday

With our COA form in hand, we rode the bus over to Wandsworth Town Hall to 'Give Notice of Civil Partnership.' The receptionist and registrar were totally 'in the family.' We felt welcome and more excited than either of us anticipated. We celebrated with Starbucks afterward!

Signing of the Registry & Brandi Carlile

2010-02-23T10:49:00.005Z

I'm at home today for a few reasons. 1) It's my day off. 2) Tuesdays have become wedding to-do list days. 3) I'm waiting for our COA application to arrive, which really just means I'm crossing my fingers it'll arrive today--8 weeks after we submitted it--and that I don't have to call the UK Border Agency to inquire as to its progress because it's starting to reach urgency status. Deep breath. Let me explain.

To get hitched in England, gay or straight, foreign or natural born citizen, you have to Declare Your Intention of Marriage/Civil Partnership at least 15 days before the actual ceremony. You declare this intention in your local borough where the members of staff then post your intention for all the borough to see for 15 days. That way, I guess, anyone who has a legal reason to object, can. This is an old law, me thinks.

A newer law, however, (although I don't know how old or new) is that being that I'm an A-meri-caaan, they need proof that I'm legit enough to marry one of their own, live in their country thereafter, and won't be a drain on the empire, I mean, country. That is where the Certificate of Approval (COA) form comes in. Just before New Years, Alex and I sent off our COA with the necessary signatures, documents, & photographs (we hope) to the UK Border Agency up in Durham. They received it, and we read that it would be 6-8 weeks before it would arrive back.

Well, it's week 8 since we sent it off, and I wouldn't be terribly worried, except that if for any reason they reject it, we've only got 6-8 weeks to apply again. Yeah, some more initiative in the fall would have been preferable. BUT, never fear! Week 8 is not over, and I have a number I can call!

I also have a song I can dance to! You see, once the COA is here and we declare our intentions, and the ceremony actually starts, Alex and I will become OFFICIAL CIVIL PARTNERS once both of us sign the registry. There will be verbal vows, yes, but in the domain of UK same-sex hitching ceremonies, it's the signatures that count. Thus, the song that plays during that bit (like the procession & recession songs) will hold quite a bit of significance. And well, ladies & gentlemen, we've found it: "Way to You" by Brandi Carlile.

I haven't blogged about Valentine's Day really, and in some ways, it was sort of a non-uber-romantic event. We were with another couple at their house in Surrey for the weekend, taking walks and watching lesbian movies, which was lovely. I gave Alex her gift on Sunday morning before I went to work (wooden cufflinks with a pin-up girl reading on them. Message: Reading is Sexy.) and then bought her Sunday Roast at the restaurant. For Alex's gift, she kept saying that there was a certain way she needed to give me my gift, with all these vague descriptions included without giving away what it was she had gotten me. Well, as it turns out, she got me Brandi Carlile's online-only Valentine's EP: XOBC.

For those that don't know, Brandi Carlile is one of Alex's all-time FAVORITE artists that ever lived. And, while Brandi in general has grown on me over time, I am really really liking her latest stuff (XOBC & Give Up the Ghost). Well, we sat down to listen to the album and within SECONDS of the start to the song "Way to You" we both looked at each other in excitement with the same thought: it's the song we've been looking for!

To have a listen, you'll have to buy the song (or album, it's worth it!) from iTunes, but for now here are the lyrics (as I've just transcribed them):

Way back when the days were young
Ah, we had our fun
Never worried much about being cool
Growing old to play the old fool

Part of your life you spend paying your dues
Walking the miles & singing the blues
But if I'm a born to a pair of rambling shoes
I'll tell you what I'd do
I'd take my wings with a heart that's true
And follow my way, my way to you

Ooh, my way to you
Ooh, the way to you

Part of your life you spend paying your dues
Walking the mile in your old man shoes
But when I finally find a way to shake loose
I know what I'll do
Hang my worry on a golden noose
And follow the way, the way to you

Ooh, the way to you
Ooh, the way to you

When we're all old and withering sages
Talking about what might have been
Like a missing line on torn out pages
We're gonna miss you then

Walking the miles & singing the blues
Learning to love what God gives to you
And if you give me rockets on the bottom of my shoes
I tell you what I'd do
I'd burn my sole where the sun was new
and find the way to you

Ooh, the way to you
Ooh, the way to you
Ooh, the way to you
Ooh, the way to you

The acoustics on the song are beyond gorgeous--and for Brandi Carlile, this is about as romantic as you can get. Maybe it was written for her policewoman up in Seattle, too...

Cool Wedding Planning

2010-02-19T23:19:00.005Z

Ok, for starters, this is why it is so cool to live in London: the above picture was taken from our table at Strada this evening, just after sunset, in a restuarant with a panoramic view of the Thames River including City Hall, Tower Bridges, the Tower of London, the HMS Belfast, the Gherkin, and with glimpses of the Monument and London Bridge. We weren't necessarily there for any particularly special occassion, and it's not a particularly special: it just happened to be where we were at the time. It has nothing to do with our wedding planning, but still, sometimes it is so way cool to live in London.

In terms of wedding planning, this week's been pretty cool too. For starters, we bought our plane tickets to Dubrovnik for our honeymoon!! The tip jar savings (a.k.a. the Honeymoon 'Jar') are paying off and Alex and I were excitedly counting coins again last night; thank you restuarant job for the graciousness of your boss & customers. Honeymoon in Dubrovnik = way cool, and flights and accomodation sorted two months out is pretty darn good!

We also had my friend and classmate, Holly, over last week to talk shop on wedding flowers for the wedding. A children's literature nerd like me, her hidden talents just happen to include floral arrangement; I love it when that happens. We've got the number for a wholesale person we can use to get the goods so I'm thinking wedding flowers are definitely on the "Check!" list.

Via post, our Scrabble tiles & trays arrived! I tell ya, 200+ Scrabble tiles is not quite the pile you might expect, and yet, I think it'll work. More than that actually, we think it's gonna look super cool! Also super cool is what we've decided to do for our guest book. Check it out:

Postcards. We hadn't really considered a guest book until Alex's mum mentioned, and then we just kind of looked at each other in a daze: what to do? Well, the word theme kicked in again, the long-distance aspect of our relationship for a year, and our mutual love of postcards. We want to have a bowl/basket of random postcards for people to choose from, write messages to us, and be able to display, bind or use them later.

I had been trawling Etsy again for any great finds and then realized I had a huge resources right here in my own files! When I lived abroad before and first traveled with friends P & FF, I started collecting postcards, like they did, from everywhere we went; and I continued to do so from almost every place I have traveled to since. Given that each postcard held a memory of some trip, place or memory, I've carried these innumerable amount of postcards with me whenever I've lived, re-purposing them at every turn. From my collection, we've got about half the number we need. The other half we're keeping our eyes out for...

Our Rings....

2010-02-15T09:52:00.004Z

I just couldn't wait. This morning I got an email from Jesse Danger, the eco-metalsmith making our wedding bands, with a teaser photo. I've just melted all over my chair at work:

My head keeps falling to the side, too, as I sigh looking at them. You know that scene in Legally Blonde where Selma Blair's character and her bitchy friend are at the Halloween party and her friend reassures her that everything will be OK because she has the Harry Winston diamond her finger? Well, in case you don't, Blair holds out her hand for them both to admire the ring, and then they sigh in unison and their heads fall to one side. That's how I feel. Gorgeous perfection.

Letters to Our Hearts

2010-02-13T11:39:00.004Z

You've seen our cake toppers of old letterpress stamps of 'A & E' and now I give you our table decorations: wooden Scrabble tiles! Words and wood: our developing theme for decorations for the UK reception. Words for all the letters, emails, phone calls, cards, poems, short stories, novels that have passed between us. Wood for my growing-up as a contractor's daughter, the oak tree in Fowey, the redwoods of Santa Cruz.

Unsurprisingly to me, I found exactly what we were looking for on Etsy, (and after a few days of searching) with XO Supplies: a whole lot of 200 Scrabble tiles and 4 Scrabble trays. Imagine little scrabble tiles strewn across the tables instead of rose petals or rocks or confetti, and trays randomly placed around for special messages. Plus, for the Bride's Cake (like the Groom's cake, but not!) a secret message scrawled across the top! Oh the fun to be had...!

Starting to Take Shape

2010-02-09T16:16:00.003Z

Well ladies and gentlemen, not only is the UK wedding starting to take place, but the California ceremony as well! Yeehaw! (Sort of. ;)

On the UK front, multiple little packages are winging their way to us from across the globe--invitations, rings, table decorations (You'll have to wait and see on that one! So excited!). Alex's suit has been ordered and discussions about the reception have started! Boy is that sailing club not going to know what hit it.

The website, too, has gotten another new look: UK Ceremony and UK Ceremony Plus are everything happening throughout the weekend; Our Honeymoon outlines our hopes and dreams for Dubrovnik; and, by popular request, we've got our gift registries up and running.

Alongside the UK wedding planning, the California plans are starting to cook too! Above is the first design idea by the gorgeous and talented Ms. Christy for our invitations. Isn't it amazing?! My maid of honor. KT, & Mom are on a ceremony/reception venue hunt, and I'll say now, things are looking up! Plus, Mom went to a Wedding Fair in YREKA with G'ma. Um, rad.

April smiles and California dreaming...

Invitation Proofs!!

2010-01-29T22:59:00.002Z

Our invitation proofs arrived via .pdf yesterday and Alex and I couldn't be more thrilled. One typo to catch and imagine it on brown recycled, eco-friendly paper... Ooh la la!

Our favorite bit is the 'and'...

UK Wedding Update!

2010-01-26T12:21:00.004Z

Whew--the wedding planning is on a serious roll. A check list for as much your enjoyment as to save my sanity!

Wedding Dress: As you know, bought my dress in September in Portland and brought it back with me to London; loved Luella's Boudoir too much not to take it there for alterations and ended up meeting the lovely Kat who altered the straps and hemmed it. Let me tell ya: I loved it when I bought; when I tried it on after all the alterations were complete, I've never felt more beautiful.

Wedding Suit: After months of talking about Gresham Blake's women's suits, Alex, her mum and I went down to Brighton weekend before last to have Alex try on a few (and for me to get some much desired frozen yogurt). I did see her in variations of a 3 piece suit, but not sized to her and in a different color--so technically not seeing her before the big day, right? She settled on a 3 piece suit in an oatmeal wool with lilac lining to be ordered asap! Eek! She's gonna look gorgeous...

Wedding Shoes: My shoes for the UK wedding are sorted (purple and lovely) while Alex is still deciding to wear red or not wear red. I think it'll help once she's got her suit to try them on with.

Hair: While some of you may not have seen the veil experience, I have decided no veil. Instead, I've ordered and received a gorgeous purple flower for my hair. Plus, had the hair trial with Tiko Lilly in Fowey over Christmas and booked in for the day of the wedding--yay!

Ceremony Venue: Well, you've heard the Marina Hotel had sold. It's definitely officially, definitely a construction site in April, and we've definitely moved to The Fowey Hotel. And actually, my Aunt R was right: it is a blessing in disguise--bigger room, same cost, extras like flowers and chair covers, wider views, and kick-ass honeymoon suit. Check out So You're Engayged for the updates on what happened 'When Your Wedding Venue Gets Sold: Parts 1-3.' All in all: Yeah Fowey Hotel! Bring on the cava and strawberries and make way for the magnificient Clare Murphy to weave her storytelling magic...

Reception Venue: Gallant's Sailing Club it is. Andrea is on it for how to decorate it and somehow we're gonna squeeze around 80 people in. It'll work. I'm just looking forward to the good food, DJ Guy, and the dance floor that opens up onto the balcony. Cross your fingers for warm weather!

Photographer: Over Christmas, we met with John from Cornish Wedding Photography and got along swimmingly. He's down to earth, shoots gorgeous lanscapes, and is totally up for being our wedding photographer! Plus, he really liked 2 of the places in Alex's house--the landing on the stairs and the garden stairs--that we want photos taken. Good times.

DJ: Speaking DJ Guy (not sure if that's his actual DJ name, it's just what I'm gonna call him here) is a friend of Alex and her brother's from way back. We went to the club he DJ'd in Bristol for New Years and his collection of vinyls and iPod were funky and classic. He's up for requests and Alex's sister wants to bring along a few of her vinyls to share in the mix. Dancing. Can you tell we like dancing? Also, Alex's sister-in-law, Erica (not from America), has agreed to sing at the reception (Yay!). We've still to figure out what, but we're getting there. There is talk of 'The Rose'... (Mom & Kay, I'm looking at you...)

Food: After the ceremony, The Fowey Hotel is providing cava & strawberries as well as cream tea (scones, Cornish clotted cream, and jam + sandwiches) later on in the afternoon during storytelling. Yum. For dinner, we're in the process of ordering a selection of meats, cheeses, stuffed peppers, quiches, salads, breads, mini Cornish Pasties (pronounced p-aaa-sties, like past) from family friends Sue and Becky from Bellamama Deli in Lostwithiel. Double Yum.

Cake: The cake order is also in the process from Alex's aunt: 2 layers of Traditional English wedding cake, white marzipan, purple & green ribbons, fresh tulips, and letterpress cake topper in A & E. Woot!

Rings: Just ordered our wedding rings today. They are gorgeous, diamond-free, recycled metals, Etsy found. Check them out. Of course, we couldn't resist a few extra goodies from the same designer, Jesse Danger.

Invitations: All I can say on the invitations is I'm glad we didn't order them BEFORE we found out the Marina Villa had sold; luckily, it was the same day. We have also officially ordered them today though and Baumbirdy on Etsy is rocking the quick order. Those of you expecting UK invites, they'll be to you in early March.

*Breath* Holy moly, that's a lot of stuff we've done! Things still need to be confirmed, smaller fiddly-bits (like jewellry, table decorations, hen night, etc) are still needing to be planned, but really, we are doing damn good. On the day we went to try on suits for Alex, it was 3 months until the wedding. There are moments when that timeline causes a bit of a panic; other times, I can hardly wait.

Portugal backs same-sex marriage

2010-01-08T21:32:00.003Z

In mild procrastination of remaining course work: a short blog post.

In the week when New Jersey has shot down gay marriage, Portugal parliament backs same-sex marriage. Sadly, they didn't think too much of letting married gays adopt though.

Quote: "The ratification would make Portugal the sixth country in Europe to allow same-sex marriages after Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Sweden and Norway." England may not be on the list, but civil partnerships here = equal rights so I'm not complaining too much; and I'm still calling our civil partnership a wedding.

Next week, no more MA for me = more time to write about wedding schtuff. Oh, and work. Alex is busy as ever with placement but somehow we find the time. Happy weekend, y'all.

A Sewing Machine for Christmas

2010-01-06T00:32:00.003Z

Totally unrelated to our upcoming weddings (or maybe not actually): I got a sewing machine for Christmas! Off the top of my head, these projects are definitely on the list immediately upon finished my MA (next week!):

a winter quilt
a stethescope case for Alex
a stuffed squirrel to match Tulip

Of all the things I can think to possibly make for our wedding, with as much recycled material as possible are:

table cloths
bunting
fabric hearts
linen napkins
table runners
thank you presents
ties
um, ANYTHING.

2010 is gonna be such a good year!

A Year of Getting Hitched!

2010-01-01T18:17:00.002Z

It's 2010! We're getting married in 2010! This is the year we're getting married--whooooo!!!

The holiday break has involved lots of planning--securing the photographer; finding out our venue has officially sold, and negotiating a new venue; going for my hair trial and booking my hairstylist; a friend offering to do our make-up, and getting a number for a floral wholesaler; chatting with our food lovelies from bellamama deli in Lostwithiel; finding a DJ! Updates will come...but right now, I'm gonna enjoy New Year's Day with my love (and my dissertation :) ...

A Few Good Things

2009-12-22T23:10:00.005Z

Hello lovelies.

It has been a long 10 days since I had anything exciting to post, and really that was mostly due to the amount of time available. Good things have continued to happen, however, albeit one venue hiccup. Well, I would call it a hiccup, Alex has used stronger language. You see, the hotel that has been our scheduled wedding venue, The Marina Villa Hotel in Fowey, was up for sale (apparently it was mentioned once when we were looking at it)--and, well, today a sale went through on the hotel to turn it into a B&B. In short, the changing of the owners means a changing of interiors which means construction in April which means a changing of venue for our wedding.

Maybe I'm glossing over how perfectly we felt this venue fit our wedding--its snazzy interiors, top notch food, deal of a corkage fee and meters upon meters of deck on the river. And, well, maybe this is just fate playing its part. You see, there are two other hotels we have looked at and can look at again for our wedding ceremony, this time with a different view and different expectations. One which might offer a larger room for the ceremony (bonus as the guest list keeps growing) and one offereing a more central spot on the river, and really it's a matter of changing our perspective on what we want. We haven't yet officially spoken with the manager of the Marina Villa Hotel yet, but given that the village is so small, he relied the already worried about news concerning the sale of our perfect wedding venue. The other upside is that given again that the village is so small, he might be able to pull a few strings for us. The result of that conversation you can be assured I will tell you.

Aside from venue unknownness, we have confirmed our reception venue of Gallants Sailing Club (woot!), met with our potential (and likely) photographer today (will explain soon), and I've picked up my wedding dress from alterations!

Today John Walmsley of Cornish Wedding Photography came to the house for a meet-up and chat about generally wedding photo stuff. He was absolutely wonderful. We had a good hour chat with him in the sitting room over tea, coffee and cheese, chatting about what the plans were for the day, taking another look at his portfolio (this time in the print), and getting to know a little about each other really. John is a landscape photographer, but as he so honestly put it, taking pictures of mountains don't pay the bills; weddings, on the other hand, do. What this does mean though is that the gorgeous scenery of Fowey will captured along with us on our wedding day, and the guy knows his lighting. We haven't officially booked him yet, pending a conversation with the parents, but for Alex and I--he's a go.

In wedding attire news, I picked up my dress this last week from Luella's Boudoir where the fabulous Kat did my hemming and strap alterations and I can tell you, I haven't been so excited about my dress since I bought it! I mean, I didn't buy it that long ago, and yet the excitement came bubbling up again! I'm absolutely in love. Also, for those who may not know about the veil debate (will be posting on SYE about it soon, so Alex won't see), I've decided on the no-veil route and ordered a lovely purple flower broach for my hair! So hoping I love it as much when it arrives from the Etsy vendor Mollusa. Look:

I'm also currently looking for necklace ideas, but they'll come too... Oh! I didn't tell you the best part of my hair piece: My brother and Best Bro, Paul, (along with his girl, Katie) found it for me online! He truly knows the way to help me perfect my 'look.' And, in case you were wondering, I will write about Alex's outfit when it comes together (and about much of it as I can know), but a trip to Brighton and Gresham Blake has yet to be made...

In other fun news:

Alex's wedding gift arrived in gorgeous condition from an etsy vendor. (Yes, I'll write about it after the day!)
Martha Stewart Wedding, Winter 2010 featured their first gay wedding!
Washington DC passed gay marriage!
Alex received Christmas cards from BOTH her grandmothers addressed to BOTH of us. (My G'ma and fam are cool, but we weren't so sure about Alex's grandmas--this is the first time Grannie's written my name!)
Alex completely spoiled me for my birthday weekend on Saturday/Sunday--a whole day out of food and fun, lots of very thoughtful, London-themed presents (including Burberry 'The Beat' perfume--Yay!), and pink bubbly with friends at a local pub!

And in case you missed our faces:

Adorable photo of us on my birthday-celebration day

Another Version of Our Story

2009-12-11T20:14:00.003Z

For our website, Alex and I wrote another version of 'our story'. I might read it occassionally read it when I want to feel snuggly so I thought I'd share:

Lovefest: The Origins: or, How We Finally Fell in Love

Well, we'll start at the beginning...

We met in our second year of college at UC Santa Cruz in the classic way that couple's meet: through our friends. At the time, Erica was working for Kresge College and Alex was friends with everyone who was working for Kresge College. Erica's first memory is of Alex in her red pleather tail coat at a Kresge event, where Alex didn't pay attention to her. Alex's first memory is queueing up with Erica for the Giant Dipper at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk, where Erica didn't pay attention to her.

Alex was at once fascinated and intimated by Erica's awesomeness...and the crush began. Of this crush, Erica was unaware: second year was BUSY, and then she left for Ireland.

Third year went by in Ireland (e) and the Brommer House (A). Summer came and went. Alex and Erica re-met at a bonfire on the beach in September--although Alex was more taken by Erica's Irish boots than anything else. They became proper friends this time through bonfires, nights out on Pacific Avenue, and times with the 'Kresge Crew/Kids'.

Then we graduated. Erica needed a place to live in the fall for her last quarter at UCSC and Alex decided to stay in Santa Cruz until Christmas. So Erica moved in to the Ocean St. House in September with Alex, Christy and Mallory (taking Corinne's old room). Well, thank goodness.

So, when did we FINALLY fall in love, you might ask?

For Alex, it was snuggled up on a couch reading short stories to one another; doing the New York Times Monday crossword puzzle; and the cincher was dancing in the kitchen to Nina Simone.

For Erica, she knew it best when one fall morning she woke up and couldn't think of anything else but "She's the one."

Now how we managed to stay together across an ocean, living in a trailer, working in a pub, getting into post-graduate programmes and moving countries is a whole OTHER story you can just ask us for at the wedding...

Not Entering Panic Mode

2009-12-08T22:09:00.005Z

If you could see the state of our house right now, you'd either think two things: 1) Look at those piles! They must be planning a wedding! or 2) How could they possibly have time to plan a wedding!? Well, both are true. To say that April has been far from our minds would be a lie, but the amount of time we get to spend thinking about it sure is limited. That said, here's the latest:

On Saturday, my friend Julie and I went to my dress fitting at Luella's Boudoir in Wimbledon Village. It was definitely an experience to be pampered and doted upon by the women who work there (who were lovely, and who loved my dress--double yay). They even got me to try on a veil, the reaction of which was not expected. If you're interested in the variations of said veil, click here (Alex has promised not to look as you can also see my dress). While it was fun to play dress-up-bride for part of it, it was also a bit shocking and, to be honest, not really 'me.' Definitely leaning more towards something like a purple fascinator or flower for me hair I think! (Maybe something like this or this.)

On the photographer front, Alex and I both got to talk on the phone to a Cornish photographer we found online: John Walmsley of Cornish Wedding Photography. After searching and looking through loads of portfolios from photographers in Cornwall, Devon and the London area, we really wanted to stay local--and we liked John's photojournalistic style best. We're set to meet him at his over the Christmas break to chat a bit and make any final decisions (i.e. whether to book him or not!). I'm really looking forward to meeting him in person, and hopefully being able to check off 'photographer' off our list with ease and confidence!

Speaking of ease and confidence, we've also found out this week that our wedding ceremony venue, the Marina Villa Hotel, has had an offer made on it to buy it and turn it into a B&B. (Alex apparently knew it was up for sale; I did not.) It would probably be fine if they were leaving it as is, but it sounds like if the deal goes through, the hotel will be under B&B-rennovations in April. Construction=no wedding venue. Not all hope is lost (although Alex was quite peeved for a bit) as nothing is final yet, and there are still other options for us to get married on the river in Fowey (just not as perfect...)

Not to end on a bummer note, have I mentioned recently how much I love Etsy? Seriously, they should pay me for all the advertising I do (hint hint). This week's Etsy wonderfulness:

My earrings (for california--and maine) arrived in the mail and I absolutely adore them!
Alex's wedding present is officially ordered.
AND...our wedding ring designer 'would be truly thrilled to create a set of bands for you for such a great occasion.' Jesse Danger = rockin'. He even quotes Frank Lloyd Wright on his profile...

130 days til we're hitched! (Oh wow, now that's a reality check for ya.)

Speech for Marriage Equality from NY Senate Floor

2009-12-06T19:05:00.002Z

Another let-down this week for marriage equality. And yet, people like NY State Senator Diane Savino still give me hope.

(Thanks to Dorothy Snarker for posting the video)

"If there's any threat to the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privelege and the right, and we have abused it for decades...We have nothing to fear from peopl who are committed to each other, who want to share their lives and protect one another in the event of sickness, illness or death. We have nothing to fear from love and committment." - NYS Sen. Diane Savino

We have nothing to fear, but fear itself. - FDR

More on this later, as Alex and I let this all soak in...

Love & Gratitude

2009-12-01T15:27:00.008Z

Hello folks--we're back! After a week of Thanksgiving madness and joy, Alex and I are resuming our normal, already-hectic lives. And yet while much food and sugar were consumed in the last week, we've also been up to quite a lot of wedding-y things!

First of all, for anyone who is considering email Save the Dates, let me tell you--it's the coolest thing ever! Aside from the dozen or so emails that will bounce back, the immediate connection with friends and family--near and far--about your big day is such a thrill! Alex and I kept checking our email and watching the counter on our website (mywedding.com) to see the amount of visits rise! The boost in wedding buzz did us girls some good.

As I am spending many hours in front of my computer these days (yes, more than usual--and that's saying something) my mind has gone off and wandered over to many places, the old and new favorites being Etsy and Rock n' Roll Bride. All was not in vain, however, as I am finalizing the details on Alex's wedding gift (no, I'm not telling), we may have officially, finally found our wedding rings (more in a minute!), and I now truly know the meaning of the blogger term 'wedding porn' (thank you, Off-Beat Bride for that, too!).

Rings? Sorry, did I say something about rings? OH, I did. And no, we've decided not to have diamonds (champagne, recycled, conflict-free, eco-friendly, or otherwise). Check out "Love is on the inside:"

So, where did I find it? Etsy, of course. And this lovely ring is made by the guy with the coolest name: Jesse Danger. (And if you click over to his shop, yes, we are getting the dragonfly wing necklace and ring, too.) This is the description of this sterling silver and rose gold ring goes like this:

"The silver on the outside has a clean and modern look that will take on its own unique finish as it wears over time, while the inside remains true to the day it was first made..."

*Melt.* Gorgeous. Meaningful. Our two favorite metals. One ring to symbolize our continuous committment to each other. No diamonds that are 'forever,' but not really us. (We can save those for birthdays, maybe anniversaries, we think.) Nothing crazy out of our budget. Oh yeah, and did I mention all the materials are recycled? Yes, we are just a little bit in love.

The other fabulous news is that we may have found our UK photographer! More updates on that soon, but we spoke with John from Cornish Wedding Photography on Sunday night and we think it's going to be a fit!

To All The People We Love: You're Invited

2009-11-20T22:46:00.002Z

OMG Shoes -- The Pictures

2009-11-17T19:49:00.004Z

Our shoes have a little story: Over the course of the last five weeks, Alex and I have been on team for a Mastery Course with the More to Life programme. We each had various jobs: audio, props, hospitality, etc--and apparently finding our wedding shoes. One of the teachers, H, for the course has not only become an inspiration to each of us in our lives, but she's is also a serious fashion inspiration! Dressing so smartly for each session, H rocked each session with the material--and her outfits.

As it happens, H wears a lot of deep reds and purples (if I'm not mistaken, they are part of the late winter palette she was given when she had her colours done). Alex's favorite color, as you may know by now, is red which she wants to accent with at the CA wedding. She has also been looking for broughes/wing tips. My favorite color is generally green, but for our UK wedding, I have been looking for little purple kitten heels to match our colors there of purple and green (based on dark purple tulips).

So, when H show showed up the first week wearing chunky heel, patent leather, two tone broughes/wing tips both of our jaws dropped. Then our mouths fell open again when she said she had bought them at the same time as another pair of heels: dark purple suede kitten heels.

Well, upon seeing the second pair the following week of Mastery, we were sold and booked a lunch date with H to go shoe shopping! Twenty minutes or less in the shop and we had our shoes!!

Alex's shoes--if you know her at all,
you'd know how incredible it is that she bought heels!

So sweet and adorable,
I'm already breaking them in around the house.

As for the specifics, I'm definitely wearing my to the UK wedding only, but Alex is torn about how many times/when/where to wear hers. Irregardless, we couldn't be more excited about SHOES!

Update: Also blogged about on So You're EnGAYged!

OMG Shoes

2009-11-13T23:53:00.004Z

We bought our wedding shoes!!

AND our lives are crazy busy right now--and awesome. So for a full-blog substitute, please accepts this ode to shoes, if you will:

And you shall call her by her name...

2009-11-10T10:21:00.003Z

This is the phrase that keeps ringing through my ears: it's a poem, knocking. I could write about shoe shopping on Wednesday, my search for an amethyst necklace or how the Save-the-Dates haven't gone out yet, but today, today I want to write about love.

It seems like most days all I want to write about is love.

Last night there were lots of tears. There were lots of tears for different reasons, from both of us. No one's sick, no one's died, and I am learning there is nothing wrong with tears. And last night I held Alex as she fell asleep, her head nuzzled into my chest. I tell you this because it was then, a half hour gone of her asleep and me awake in the street-light-through-curtain darkness that this phrase whispered in my ear: "You shall call her by her name: Love."

Love.

It is what I call out when I speak of Alex, and what she calls for me.

My parents called each other "Babe" when they first got together. I have given and been given nicknames from lovers and friends past: e, darling, lovely, sweetheart, babe; names with inside observations, names not reserved just for me.

In London, it is common to be called "love" by friends, new acquaintances, customers, retail employees, etc. Imagine the American diner waitress asking, "What can I get you, sugar?" Insert "love" instead and make the waitress a barmaid in a pub. In Cornwall, instead of "love," it is "lover." Are you alright there, my lover? I did not know this casual, cultural use of "love," then.

In the first weeks of being with Alex, the name escaped from my lips before I even consciously recognized what I was saying. I remember it was an autumn morning in the Ocean St house, the light was so crisp on those last days on the coast and there was a soft breeze through the window. I remember sitting on the stairs, she was by the kitchen table.

"Love."

This morning I realized I was echoing a biblical phrase: "...and you shall call his name Jesus." I Googled it to find out that it was from Luke 1 and a church website included the partial accompanying verses: "And the angel said to her...you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great...and of his kingdom there will be no end."

I don't think an angel spoke to me, but I do believe that when I knew what love was, I called her by her name.

I believe that each time I invoke the name "Love," it is powerful and it is great. There is a heft to it. It reminds me of why I want to connect with Alex, with others, with the world, and I believe love has no end.

I do not tell this story to spark conflict between religious text and personal experiences nor is it told for political gain or change of consciousness. I tell this story because it is my own. I tell this story because it is my love story, my Love: the head on my chest at night; the face I look to each day; the single, most powerful capacity bestowed upon human beings.

Love. I believe in love. And I ask for nothing more than to continue believing.

For California--and Maine

2009-11-05T10:42:00.003Z

Yesterday, the State of Maine passed Question 1, a measure similar to Prop 8 denying same-sex couples the right to marry in their state. My reaction since I heard the news was just to ignore it; to even consider to take in the news felt like too much to handle.

I had forgotten what last November felt like: the tension, the queasiness, the disbelief and anger. I had forgotten that I could barely stand going to work at City Hall that week, keeping my mouth shut, and so thankful I could escape down to Santa Cruz that following weekend. I wonder if someone in Maine is in the same shock as I was; I wonder if they'll have a place to escape to and know they are loved.

I don't remember if it was after the election or after the start of this blog that myself or someone else (cousin?) found these earrings on Etsy: Rainbow over Sacramento, Shame on H8. The entire purchase price is donated by the artist to overturn Prop.8 in California. I couldn't afford them whenever I saw them first, but today I woke up thinking about Maine, feeling that pit in my stomach, and decided to buy them.

Purchasing power: I am still grappling with the concept of using capitalism as a mode through which to effect change. And yet, how can it not be when my money goes directly to funding a movement for change, a change for the acceptance of love.

The money may go towards funding California's freedom to marry as a result of this purchasing power, but, Maine, I bought these for you. I had forgotten what it felt like to have love lose out, and you were the reminder. I will wear these on my wedding days, legal and not, and remember.

Rainbow over Sacramento - Shame on H8
AlaineJewelry on Etsy

Tuesday's Wedding Ponderings

2009-11-03T12:39:00.009Z

First of all, someecards is hilarious--and always reliable for a good gay laugh. Case in point: They are now doing wedding invitations. Alex and I should have gone there instead of Etsy! My favorite reads: 'Please be our guests for some state-sanctioned girl-on-girl nuptials' and depicts two women kissing in princess hats! Hilarious!

Secondly, the extra yard of fabric I ordered from The English Department for my wedding dress arrived today! A yard of Shantung silk in 'Snow' from Jenny Yoo for 'Bride: Erica Gillingham' was pretty exciting to see in my hands. (I'm still not used to being called 'a bride,' particularly by shop owners and businesses. I'm not sure I always like it; more on that in a minute.)

The English Department
Shop front in Portland, OR. (Photo via site.)

The extra fabric means that I can now change the straps on my dress to a wider, more sophisticated style which will also allow me to pin a corsage/boutonniere (instead of carrying a bouquet; see Ceremony Gender Flips if you want to hear more of my thoughts) to my beautiful dress!

For the alterations, I've just spoken with the ladies at Luellas' Boudoir in Wimbledon. Rachel Attwell's shop caught my eye from the window of the 493 Bus on my way to university each day. When my home-town friend, Leslie, came to visit me in London, we took a trip over there and really enjoyed chatting to Rachel and checking out their range of accessories and new dresses.

Luella's Boudoir
Shop front in Wimbledon, London (Photo via site.)

This, of course, was BEFORE I proposed... Still, I remembered the pleasant interaction (which included telling her about proposing to my girlfriend; not sure she'd heard that one before!) and have made a tentative appointment to have my dress looked at for alterations by their designer.

With all the goodness continuing to abound (ease of picking things out, items arriving on time and in one piece), I still have two concerns:

1. Where to go for alterations: While Luella's Boudoir has been on my list of places to visit with Alex (or without her and with my friend Julie--there are some things Alex isn't supposed to see before the big day!), there is part of me that feels hesistant to have my dress altered there. Will it be more expensive because it's a 'wedding boutique' and not a tailors? Possibly. Possibly not.

Another part of me keeps thinking of all the tailors in my own area of London--there are two practically across the street from me after all! Still the tailors in my area are either housed in dry cleaning shops or specialize in saris or West African formal dresses, not American wedding dresses, and a third part of me wants to ensure I'll get the vintage look I want with the strap alterations and have a bit of the fuss of being in a bridal shop. Luella's, I think it will be.

2. Here comes the bride--shopping (or Who's the Groom?): I have had a particular pre-occupation the last few weeks about the intense focus on THE BRIDE in not only all the wedding advertizing and websites (think of all the Bridal magazines out there) but also with the promotions of vendors. For example, wedding photographers: it feels like half of their 'wedding galleries' are close up shots of the bride getting ready, standing in a window, posing coyly, oh yeah, and then with the groom. And the groom? Aren't there two people in a wedding? Isn't a wedding supposed to be about than how pretty the bride looks?! SO frustrating!

But it's not just frustrating aimlessly. It's frustrating for two reasons I've been able to pinpoint so far:

Firstly, I have started to feel that the word 'bride,' like the word 'wedding,' equals huge dollar/pound signs, blown-up ideas and mass marketing. With this interpretation then, every time I heard/read the word 'bride' or are in fact called a bride by shop owners, I just feel like a walking, gullable money purse just waiting to be plucked. As if all the wedding photographers, jewellers or wedding boutiques have to do is make me feel special enough so that I won't bat an eye at a few extra accessories along with a few extra hundred pounds missing from our pockets. Gross, right?

Secondly, no matter how many deep breaths I take, it still sucks to see an online form (try wedding registries, blogs, or even Luella's Boudoir's contact email) which ask for the 'Bride's name' and the 'Groom's name.' I know not all wedding vendors are going to support, let alone include, same-sex couples wanting to get hitched, but it is frustrating that even in a country where every same-sex couple has the right to a legal union, those couples get left out.

Considering the last point, our solution has been for Alex or myself to put me as 'The Groom' (again, see Ceremony Gender Flips) but it's still mentally exhausting work to be OK with it, to even fill it in because for as much as I may think I am a walking, money bag 'bride,' I'm still not the bride the advertisements are for--no matter which side of the alter I stand on.

Happy Stampy

2009-10-30T15:16:00.007Z

From reading The DIY Wedding, I got the idea to look for a personalized address stamp to save time + our wrists when writing out the invitation envelopes. Needless to say really, I searched on Etsy and came up with these favorites! Now just to see which one Alex likes best (or at all)!

Sweet and circular:

Self ink stamp by ishandmadestamps

Sexy Calligraphy:

Self-inking Rubber Stamp Calligraphy by emililies

And my personal favorite:

Eco Friendly Self-inking Rubber Stamp Calligraphy by emililies
(Um, awesome. Recycled plastic, water based ink, re-fillable)

Anyone know of any other great places to look for customizable stamps? Possibly in the UK?

Also, just started looking for a photographer and it is HARD. Like, not finding one (just google Cornish Wedding Photography, and, boy, do you have a whole heap of choices!) but, like, how do you pick one from SO many!?!?!?

DIY Reading

2009-10-27T10:15:00.004Z

Hi y'all. It is another busy week in the Gillingham Crisp household, let me tell you. I've just made a schedule to write a chapter of my dissertation a week to finish by my birthday in December (and to meet the university deadline) and Alex is up before the sun to go take bloods and patient histories at a nearby hospital. Crazy times up in here. And still, any free moment where my mind gets to wander and be playful a bit, I'm still smiling about our wedding. Smiling, mostly, cause I'm getting to marry Alex (YAY!) and also because it's really fun planning a wedding with her. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when we're on such different pages it's like we're reading different books, but the giggling, the giggling and giddiness makes it all worth it.

Speaking of books, my current selected reading a la weddings: The DIY Wedding: Celebrate Your Wedding Your Way.

The DIY and money saving info is fab, but occassionally my feminist consciousness wants to toss it on the floor (i.e. the focus on the bride is crazy and sometimes I get tired of swapping groom for bride and fiancé for finacée).

The Ring?

2009-10-23T17:42:00.002+01:00

Discussions of how many rings, how to source them and their meaning aside for another post, check out this beauty. We think we've found our ring design.

In Praise of Google Docs

2009-10-20T09:57:00.009+01:00

While the work on the wedding website continues this week (I hope y'all are impressed with it--I spent an hour and a 1/2 yesterday on the Accommodation page for Fowey alone), this week it is all about the praise for Google Docs, in (short) list form.

Reasons Why A&E love Google Docs (thus far):

Our time, effort, and new skills in Excel have not gone to waste in the guest list/contact list compiling exercises.
We can share the UK Guest List, CA Guest List and HUGE Contact List with anyone really, primarily our folks (and we don't have to print them out! Yay trees!).
Anyone we share the 'documents' (files) with doesn't have to have a Google account.
Multiple people can be viewing, editing and saving those documents at any given time and those changes happen instantly.
Alex and I can sit at our own computers in separate rooms and chat and giggle online like old times across the ocean while we edit the lists together.

Betcha can't tell which one is my favorite reason...

Two more notes:

Yes, I did totally co-opt the title of Cheryl Dumesnil's new book of poetry, In Praise of Falling--how did you know!? And yes, you should check it out.
And blog posts are more fun with pictures, so here's an old school one of Alex at her desk at the Ocean House. :D

Save the Date -- Done!

2009-10-16T10:10:00.005+01:00

For all of you following this who are actually coming to one or two of the ceremonies, this may be a bit of a spoiler, but I'm just so pleased with how the Save the Date and photo collage came out I couldn't resist sharing.

As for our to-do list, the photo collage is now checked off, the website coming along nicely, and some more basic details to be covered this weekend (like getting a Certificate of Approval from the UK Home Office--immigration stuff scares me! The bonus part though is that I just spoke to a very nice man at our council office who we'll go see to Give Notice of Intention for our UK ceremony. There's no Vegas-Let's-Get-Hitched! around these parts!).

Now onto the good stuff, what people will be receiving in their email boxes next month (yeah saving trees, postage, and fossil fuel!), with the exception of our grandmas--some of them are computer saavy, some of them prefer good ol' post.

Click on either for a larger view.
Images, respectively by savethedate and Wyatt Olson Photography.

The Save the Date design is called Jenny by savethedate's etsy shop. She was super easy to work with and Alex and I just love her design. Plus her slogan is 'Save the Date * Save the Trees' --pretty rockin. Then we picked out our favorite photos and threw them together in the collage! (Ok, ok, it took a bit more time than that...) In all seriousness though, we loved working with Wyatt and can't wait for him to photograph our wedding in California!

Week's To-Do List

2009-10-13T13:42:00.012+01:00

I have to say that after being back in London for over two weeks now, I finally feel like I am sort-of back in the routine again. The realization was signaled by finally moving all of my IDs, cards, etc. from my US wallet to my UK wallet. (Yes, I have two different wallets. And if you've ever traveled abroad, you know the difference coins can make!)

With the settling came the time to start looking at the 'to-do's before the 'I do's--and let me tell you, we've only got 6 months left now before April 17th rolls along. Loads of time really, what with a dissertation to write, hospital placements to attend, jobs to find, shifts to work. Ok, ok, I'm not really complaining. Here's what we're up to this week:

Wedding Website

MyWedding.com is a free wedding website site up for couples to post their wedding info of where to go, where to stay and what to do along with their story, photos and select music. Let me tell you, Alex was stoked on that last one.

I heard about them as a dear dear friend used the website for her wedding and I really liked the set up. I have no idea who owns them (Anyone? Anyone?) but I've found their site easy to use and gay friendly--i.e. I didn't have to pretend to be a 'groom,' instead I could be the 'partner' that I am. (Although, best thing would have been to let their be two 'brides,' but hey, it's a US site and partner has a heck of lot more politic weight there than in England.)

This week I'm in charge of filling it out with the goal of having it done by the end of the week, ready to send out with our email Save the Dates going out at the end of the month.

A little preview:

The header we picked out of about a hundred,
it was a long process...

One of our favorite listed attractions!

We heart Pinky Murphy's

Another awesome reason for doing a wedding website: saves on paper, printing, and postage. Unlike some wedding invitations that come with different cards of where to be, where to stay and what to do, we hope our guests will use the power of the internets to garner all that information for themeselves and save some trees while they're at it!

Photo Collage

Alex's job for the week, among other glorious, but not so exciting feats in Excel and Google Docs, is to create a photo collage from our engagement photos (a few here) to send out with the Save the Date. Conveniently, the photo collage will also have the url for our wedding website. So far, it looks like it will be a run-off between these two photos for the 'big' photo in the collage. Votes?

Sort of traditional in pose and a nice shot of our faces.

More stylized and great colors!

Photos by Wyatt Olson Photography.

Lovefest Turns Two

2009-10-06T11:13:00.008+01:00

Paraphrased phone conversation between Alex and her mum, Andrea, on Saturday:

Alex: We're going to Wahaca tonight for our anniversary.
Andrea: I thought you were going to Rick's on Monday.
Alex: We are. But we planned to go to Wahaca before we knew about the wine tasting on Monday (our actual anniversary).
Andrea: Do you have to do everything twice?
Alex: Yes.

So Alex and I celebrated our anniversary twice. And really, since it was our second anniversary and there are two of us, it really just made sense (well, it made sense to our stomachs, but maybe not total 'pence' if you know what I mean). At any rate, it was lovely.

Alex had found Wahaca (phonetic spelling of Oaxaca, Mexico) in Covent Garden, read the menu, and decided before she even told me about it that we were going there to celebrate our anniversary. As our anniversary fell on a Monday, we thought the smartest thing was to celebrate it on the Saturday before. Plan #1 was formed.

And excuted on Saturday October 3, 2009.
(Those aren't match books, by the way, but chili seeds!)

We sat down to dinner 9:30 PM, like good Londoners, with Coronas in hand and heated anticipation over the shrimp ceviche and steak burritos.

The shrimp ceviche nearly had me on the floor it was so good,
and it was by far the best dish of the night!

And Alex couldn't leave until we tried the churros--which we quickly devoured, licking the chocolate mug and everything!

Plan #1 was the only plan until I arrived back in London (tell-tale sign?) and we found out at our first night back at Rick's (we love it there, it's around the corner from our house, and I work there one night a week) that they were having their monthly wine tasting night ON our anniversay. Well, it was just too good a deal to pass up. Hence, Plan #2 was booked for October 5, 2009.

We started with aubergine caviar but moved onto wild mushroom risotto with Pucela (Castille y Leon, Spain). Both were to die for.
AND Alex doesn't normally drink red wine or eat mushrooms.

Between courses.
Note the grapes from Rick's garden (we thought of you, Dad)
and the perfectly placed engagement ring.

Our notes sheet. Yay Rick's!
We might have spilled a glass of wine, but who's counting really.

Lovefest turns two! (And got tipsy!)

It was a lovely night and we talked about loads of things--my recent university work, Alex's hospital placement, food mis-adventures and, of course, wedding stuff! We've done quite a lot in recent weeks and there's always something to talk about.

Next on our wedding to-do/ponder list: best ways to gather email/snail mail addresses for our now-ready eco Save-the-Date card; researching and tasting local/organic rose wine, presecco and pink cava; picking a local Cornish keg to have behind the bar; and possible tap water ideas for reception (an idea from Rick actually). Oh yeah, and securing a reception venue. We're so laid back...

Two Show Stoppers

2009-09-29T13:09:00.010+01:00

Can't get over these two photos. They stop me in my tracks every time. (Pun not intended) Photos by Wyatt Olson.

Wedding Dresses!!!

2009-09-22T18:50:00.006+01:00

So, I've done it: I've bought my wedding dress, and found the next one. The best part: I wasn't even trying to find a dress, let alone the dress or two dresses.

Basically, The English Department in Portland, OR rocked, the owner and designer, Elizabeth Dye pulling my perfect dress from the rack: "Dana" by Jenny Yoo. My friends and I fell in love instantly.

I tried it on that Tuesday, tried on the other dress Thursday, and bought it (in 'Snow,' not 'Garnet') on Friday. Now to change the straps on 'Dana' and order 'Jocelyn' (below) next summer! Bring on 2010!

Jocelyn in Poppy Red

And for those that are interested, it looks like the wedding dress total, for two dresses, will be well under $700 with both totally wearable or donate-able afterward. Yes!

So You're EnGAYged 6 Month Anniversary!

2009-09-15T17:33:00.003+01:00

So You're EnGAYged is having their 6 month anniversary! Since I started writing for them a few months ago, it's been a blast and such a wonderful place to talk to others planning their own big gay weddings. So click on over and check 'em out! Happy Birthday SYE!

We Interrupt This...

2009-09-12T07:01:00.004+01:00

Normally Scheduled Program for a sneak preview of a wedding gift (not for me!) in progress--More in a few weeks after she's married!

Cake Toppers & Traditional English Wedding Cake

2009-09-08T20:02:00.007+01:00

Have I told you yet how excited I am about our cake toppers? While we bought them a month ago while we were at Spitalfields Market in East London, we've decided if we can make them work with our traditional wedding cake, these cake toppers are a go!

Aren't they just rad? I know, I know, we're freakin' adorable.

And for those of you who don't know what traditional English wedding cake is (i.e. I'm assuming most of the Americans) a few more photos to show off the fruity and marzipan goodness that gets served in tiny slices at many English receptions. Alex would probably much prefer Victoria sponge or some other creation, but her mum and I vetoed her. Fruit cake it is.

Before the icing...

Flowers and pearls are common decoration

As previously mentioned, Alex's aunt is going to be baking and decorating our wedding cake for us. (Yeah!) In preparation for that, she sent along the design guide last week that she gives to all her clients--including everything from numbers of tiers to flavors and colors to fake or real flowers.

So far, the only thing we've decided is that we want 2 tiers, that's as far as we've gotten. However, looking at the cake toppers again, I'm thinking maybe square instead round, maybe colored marzipan instead of white...oh, the choices!

Dog-Earring Pages of Dresses

2009-09-01T07:20:00.002+01:00

Thumbing through wedding magazines can be really fun. It can be way overpriced and ridiculous, but way fun too. Alex and I have been dog-earring different pages from money saving tips to D.I.Y. ideas to wedding dresses for me (for the UK wedding).

So far this is my favorite. Anyone know where I can get the sewing pattern for Alfred Angelo's Style #1148...? Also, any other suggestions for where Alex can get a suit tailored in the UK?

Bi-Coastal Planning

2009-08-28T20:10:00.006+01:00

Photo by C. Elizabeth Bors

Whew--it has been a busy couple of weeks. Firstly, Alex and I were in Fowey with her family enjoying the festivities of Royal Regatta week. Then we caught a train back to London on Monday to fly out to California on Tuesday--now we're with my family celebrating being home!

While much revelry took place in Fowey (as you may have guessed from the pirate costumes), we did tick off a few wedding "to-do's" from our list. Alex and I checked out the Fowey Hotel and Marina Villa for possibly ceremony locations and settled on the Marina Villa. We sat down with her folks to talk about our visions for the big day and crunched some numbers. We ate some really good food provided by family friends, Becky and Sue, and decided, yeah, we want them to do our wedding buffet and emailed Alex's aunt about baking our traditional wedding cake. Plus, we inquired about making reservations at various places around town!

Pinky Murphy's

Pinky Murphy's for post-wedding breakfast, the Dwelling House for pre-wedding tea, and the Old Quay House for our honeymoon suite. A busy week, but it was great to start laying some of the groundwork for the UK ceremony while we were actually in Fowey. As you've read, we've booked the registrar for April 17, 2010, and now we are setting the final details with the Marina Villa for the ceremony. Things are starting to fall into place!

Now that we're in California for a little bit, we've been kicking around some ideas for both the UK and CA weddings. So far, we've bought our first wedding magazine, The Knot, where I've dog-earred at least 7 pages already for dress ideas AND we've had engagement photos taken by none other than the wonderful Wyatt Olson!

With all that, we're off for the weekend, with much wedding conversation expected to ensue. So much to write about--can you tell I'm getting really excited?!?--and more formal posts as each of the details lock into place. Have a great weekend, y'all!

A Wedding Date!

2009-08-25T00:55:00.002+01:00

WE'VE BOOKED A REGISTRAR!
WE'VE FOUND A VENUE!
WE'VE GOT A WEDDING DATE!

YAHOO!!

April 17, 2010 Lovefest is getting civil partnered.

A Match Made in Piracy

2009-08-21T17:59:00.001+01:00

Fowey Royal Regatta week, folks. Last days of our Cornish (pirate) holiday!

Venues: Fowey Hotel and Marina Villa

2009-08-18T11:19:00.004+01:00

Yesterday was official round one of visiting possible wedding locations in Fowey. First up was the Fowey Hotel--Alex and my top pick from viewing them online (and, of course, growing up around them for Alex).

The walk up there was beautiful--just up the road from the Crisp house--and Candace gave us their wedding packet, showed us the restaurant and honeymoon suite. The Fowey Hotel just got their wedding license a few months ago so they've only had one wedding so far. We liked it, but feel like there are more downsides than up: only 70 people max, must book out all the rooms if we want an evening wedding, OK menu selection, and the room must be re-set for dancing later in the evening.

What we're keeping in mind: the honeymoon suite. The corner room has one of the best views in Fowey with a balcony for two.

Next up was the Marina Villa, where Andrea had already briefly spoken to the manager, James. We had a lovely chat with James, viewed the restaurant and balconies and got a little excited about the purple decor.

As Marina Villa is much smaller, we weren't too surprised that their maximum number of people was 40. Still, after witnessing J&E's civil ceremony (small, short and to the point) a smaller ceremony followed by a big party somewhere else could be a possibility. Also, we may be able to get a discount on room prices for guests in the nicest hotel in Fowey.

It is Fowey Regatta Week, however, so wedding ideas are dropped in between floral dances and carnival. We also want to look at a few more venues to see if we can find a place that'll hold our potential guest list of just over 100 people: Fowey Hall, the Yacht Club, the Sailing Club and the Eden Project. Ideas are brewing and hopefully we can have some chats this weekend about picking a venue--fingers crossed!

Brighton Finds

2009-08-14T09:01:00.001+01:00

A weekend in Brighton with the lovely and newly civil-partnered J & E (Alex's sis and now sis-in-law!) proved wonderfully delightful for wedding ideas.

First, Greshman Blake, bespoke tailors. J got her wedding outfit from there and Alex is definitely pining for the same. We've been to their shop in Brighton a few times now, but after purusing their site just now, found out they have a by-appointment-only, London shop too!

Let's hope, though, Alex doesn't want the shotgun to go with her wedding outfit, too.

Next, the Lanes in Brighton are full of jewellry shops and on a last-ditch whim on Sunday, Alex, Christy and I found ourselves staring into the windows on an antique jewellers--and found a design we really, really like. Both of us. BOTH of us. It's exciting.

Of course, it being a second-hand ring, there was only one. Hence, it's just an idea, but a really good one. And one that we can take to preferably eco-friendly, conflict-free designers (Brilliant Earth, Green Karat, Leber Jeweler, Dawes Designs or the like*...) and use it as a possible starting point for a custom design.

And last, but not least, J&E passed on A Very Pink Wedding: A Gay Guide to Planning Your Perfect Day. I'm not sure they actually read the whole thing, and it may possibly be stressing me out a bit, but hey, it's nice to have a book for your kind of wedding.

Now I'm crossing my fingers Fowey will be as fruitful, but with wedding venues and dates this coming week!

*Hat tip to Robyn. It's no coincidence that she's born on Earth Day.

Eco Save the Date Cards!

2009-08-12T13:59:00.006+01:00

OK, OK, I'm a little ahead of the game. You know, being without a confirmed wedding date or booked venue yet. But hey, I can still randomly search for way cool eco-friendly stationary on Etsy, right?

My current favorite is an image file for emailing and printing, no stamps necessarily neccesary:

By savethedate

Their slogan: digital save-the-date = save money + save the trees. Me likey.

Savethedate is also part of a group called TeamEcoEtsy; give 'em a search!

Now I just want Alex to wake up (she's nappy, my sicky lady) so we can oggle over things we can't buy yet...

Hen Night! (i.e. Bachelorette Party!)

2009-08-11T14:21:00.005+01:00

I didn't think I wanted a joint hen night with Alex. I'm still pretty sure I want us to have our own bachelorette parties in California with our own girlfriends. But last night changed my English-wedding-themed tune.

Alex and I went out on the town last night with friends Cate, Lish, Cat and Jo. We were supposed to go to a Brandi Carlile concert, but it was cancelled due to a power outage, so off to SoHo we went! A crazy-but-not-that-crazy night on the town brought us to Holborn where after turning the corner from Bloomsbury Square I was faced with a classic American neon sign reading: All Star Lanes. We were there to bowl.

Four Anchor Libertys, four Blue Moons, one Brooklyn, two Pin-Up Girls*, one milkshake and one bowling game later we all decided this had to be the place for Alex's and my joint hen night. Together. Eating. Drinking. Bowling.

Cate, "See, this is how it'll go: a few drinks at a cheap pub nearby, two games of bowling, two cocktails, maybe a round or two of shots, some dancing and maybe a little karoke. It'll be brilliant!"

Now that sounds like my kind of night out! And it's added to the list of things to plan--I can't wait!

*Pin-Up Girl = Wyborowa vodka, raspberry liqueur, lemon juice, bitters, basil, blueberry
syrup and prosecco = Amazing!

Champagne Diamonds

2009-08-07T23:37:00.005+01:00

Not gonna lie, I have started to become distracted lately by shiny things. Sparkly, diamond shaped shiny rings to be exact. Don't get me wrong: I love our engagement rings. But, we agreed simple on the engagement rings and fancy on the wedding rings and like any bride-in-waiting, my left finger's starting to twitch.

It seriously didn't occur to me until recently to start looking for what I actually might want in a wedding ring, especially one with any rocks involved. That changed on Sunday when we were in Old Spitalfields Market in East London and happened by a jewellery stall with a sparkling, square cut "champagne" trio of cubic zirconium set in silver that just happened to fit me by Amanda Mansell. The style was all wrong on me, but the color. The color stuck with me.

Then I was in Liberty today with Christy and figured, what the hey, I might as well try on some of these fancy rings they've got here. I am ENGAGED after all--when do I have a better excuse?

So I did, and it was gorgeous. And guess what? The first ring to catch my eye: a ring of champagne diamonds. Sadly, I can't find pictures online of either ring, but I figured this would suffice to get the point across.

I think Alex and I should try us on some rings. Mission: find a recycled champagne diamond, a designer, a setting, and ring to "match" for Alex--all on a budget. Go.

Wyatt Olson Photography

2009-08-04T12:12:00.004+01:00

In the mix of academic craziness, dreaming of our weddings has become a common pastime. And sometimes, we actually come up with good ideas. Like lying in bed wide awake one night after discussing Yreka (+ field + barn?) or Ashland as possible wedding locations for the California wedding, I realized that if we had our wedding close to my hometown, people I know and love and have grown up with could be the ones we go to for various wedding needs. Like a photographer. Like Wyatt.

Wyatt Olson is the little brother of one of my bestest friends, Gerard, and whom I've known since he was about 8. (This is when I wish I had a really embarrassing photo of him, but digital just wasn't around like it is now.) Anyhoo, when their sister, Erica (I know, I know, so many Erica's) got married a few years ago, Wyatt took their beautiful wedding photos. Since then, I understand he's built up a little business for himself (yes?): Wyatt Olson Photography.

After finally getting myself to sleep after the excitement of realizing we could ask Wyatt to take our photos, I emailed him the next day to ask if he would mark us on his calender for mid October 2010--and he said yes! And, he'll also take some engagement photos for us this August when we're home visiting--awesome bonus!

So despite that fact that we haven't booked any place for either wedding--and we don't have a photographer for the UK wedding which just happens to be six months sooner than the CA wedding--I'm am nonetheless totally stoked to have a family friend whom Alex and I both adore taking our photos for us!

Wyatt & his other bro, Dylan, stopped by London!
Wyatt and Alex on the London, May 09

I also have a feeling this is just the start of the wedding plans falling into place... crossing fingers! Thanks Wyatt!

I Can't Wait Until I'm Married...

2009-08-01T19:56:00.005+01:00

... so Alex and I can wear these awesome buttons!

It's a crazy time of exams (Alex is half way through her exams: written done, practical to come) and essays (3 down, 1 to go; due Monday)--and these buttons just make me smile. I keep imagining all the different reasons, occasions, and outfits with which we can wear these! And I'm going to email ButtonEmpire on Etsy right now to see if they can do the "The Dynamic Duo-1 Inch Buttons For Married Cool People" for two nerdy/crafty ladies! Cross your fingers for me!

(Translation side note: In England, buttons are called "badges." I'm still getting used to it.)

UPDATE: Amy from ButtonEmpire sent an awesome reply to my inquiry, set up a listing for my order, and I hit the "Commit to Buy" button. Now they're on their way to California with an additional surprise!

Down the Aisle - Josh Ritter

2009-07-28T10:59:00.005+01:00

If you don't know Josh Ritter, let me introduce you. I first heard his music on the streets of Galway. I was so moved by his song "Snow is Gone," I went inside the shop and bought the album right then and there. I have loved his music ever since and cherish my autographed screen print from his Irish tour.

Hence somewhere in the mix CDs, he showed up and found his way in Alex's heart as well. From his older album, Golden Age of Radio, we found "Come and Find Me." It's been a favorite ever since--and we think it's the perfect tune to find each other walking down the aisle.

(A side note: I just found out he's touring in England, supporting Ray Lamontagne (who is also on our list for possible ceremony songs!) but his tour is when I'm in California and walking down the aisle as a bride's maid for my best friend's wedding! The timing!)

First Dance - Heavenly Day

2009-07-24T11:51:00.007+01:00

We picked this months and months and months ago, almost from the first time we heard it: Heavenly Day by Patty Griffin will be our first dance. Apparently, it is the first love song Patty Griffin's ever written--and it's for her dog.

That's ok. It, of course, has different meanings for us. It is hearing it for the first time in the dining room in Yreka after Alex moved back to England. It is listening to the album together in Fowey on Valentine's Day. It is months apart with mixed CDs, sun roofs, aluminum trailers, attic rooms and memories of dancing in kitchens.

Guest Book Idea #1

2009-07-21T15:09:00.005+01:00

Yesterday, the creator of the name "Lovefest," the one and only, very talented Christy sent Alex and I the link to this awesome Etsy find:

By The Wedding Perch

A Natural Wood Wedding Guest Book/Memory Plaque, with Shadow Box Frame, we think this is the coolest idea yet for a guest book. And I'm thinking that if this route sounds best, I might be able to ask my dad to rustle up a nice piece of wood (maybe some oak or fur, Dad...?).

The question again, though, is should it be the guest book for the UK or the CA wedding? I suggested this be the CA wedding guest book (seeing as we are now leaning towards Yreka as the location--more to follow on that, and possible a poll. Maybe.) and that we could find a piece of driftwood or river rock for the UK guest book. Alex kinda chuckled, but didn't respond and just kept on walking. At least she listens to all my ideas.

Table Decorations - The Family Spectrum

2009-07-17T23:41:00.006+01:00

The first two weekends of July brought much celebration for Alex's side of the family: her cousin got married in a beautiful Methodist church and her sister got a civil partnership in gorgeous Brighton Town Hall. Both were fab, and I have to say, Alex and I looked the part. The receptions were held, respectively, in a marquee behind a pub (much prettier than it sounds) and the Latest Music Bar with french doors opening onto the street; and being the ever-observant, now-wedding-planning woman that I am, I was taking notes. Mostly, on table decorations.

OK, I was taking notes on most things, but the table decorations are really what get my creativity bouncing. Ah, craftiness.

Cousin of the Bride, Reception #1: Vintage Tour de France theme; white, burgundy and pink (although I'm told UK weddings don't really 'do' colors...)

The bride wore a vintage veil and vintage-style dress, and the table decorations matched. The red (1) and white (2) wine, from California (nice shout!), had bicycles on the label; the menu was covered in vintage French ads; alongside the ice bucket sat a framed photograph of a participant of the Tour de France. Name cards had a French-themed stamp and every place setting had a red and white sweets bag: guests were invited to 'tour' the 15 tables and collect sweets from the mason jars on each of the tables (although some people insisted on trading instead of collecting...). There were pink flowers, table names of places visited by the bride and groom and a full set of flatware and stemware.

Thoughts: The decorations felt meticulously thought out and very sweet, but the table was a bit busy.
Favorite Touch: Name cards with themed stamps.

Sister of a Bride, Reception #2: The theme was simplicity and joy, perfection for J & E; blue and white (I think there are always color themes...)

A bit too caught up in all the tapas, good music and the Brighton Gay Men's Chorus, I forgot to take a photo of the tables. However, there were no seating charts or name cards so people got to move around freely. J & E decorated with blue and white striped Brighton Rock Candy (6 per table tied with a white ribbon, one for each seat; pictured above), two white flower stalks, white balloons, and white bubbles with two love birds on the cap. Their sponge cake even matched--and tasted AMAZING!

Thoughts: I loved the local sweets to flavor the evening and the different levels really worked for decorating a small space with lots of movement.
Favorite touch: local sweets with meaning.

And the creativity is off bouncing again: Ok, so, purple tulips, vintage vases, handmade napkins (purple and green), Cornish fudge or truffles from Middletons... Hmm, custom stamps or photographs... candles or no candles...?

The Proposal Story #2

2009-07-14T10:48:00.010+01:00

On Saturday July 11th, Alex, her parents, her brother (T), her sister (J) & her financee (Erica not from America), and I are in Brighton for J & E's civil partnership the following day, taking a walk along the seaside for the afternoon. It may be July, but it's windy and cold and my hands start to hurt about halfway down the beach. Naturally, I go to stick my hands in Alex's pockets to warm them up.

'Not in there!' Alex snaps, batting my hand away.

I felt something in her pocket and must look startled as Alex apologizes, but without explanation. We continue walking on, but now my mind is racing: 'Is that a ring in her pocket? No, it's a funny shape for a ring box. I don't even know if she's gotten a ring! It's her sister's wedding weekend. I thought I was going to have to wait until August, after exams and papers and everything. Could she really be proposing today--where?!!?'

As a family, we walk on to the Fishing Museum. I have absolutely no interest of going inside at this point.

'You're too clever,' Alex says, a bit deflated.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' I reply.

She smiles.

'Should we go for a walk?' I ask.

Brighton beach is rocky and I take off my flip-flops to manage over the rocks; Alex is quiet for a minute and then says, 'I've always wanted to propose on the beach.' We stop near the edge of the surf.

Alex turns to me, takes my hands. She looks gorgeous: her hair wind blown, black shirt, white jacket; I can't believe she's my girl, my financee.

She says, 'Erica, I love you. I want to go on this big adventure with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Every day I am in awe of you: your strength, your beauty, your passion.'

The tears start rolling. I try not to lose focus.

Alex takes the little cardboard ring box from her jacket pocket.

'Should I get down on one knee?' she asks.

'You don't have to,' I reply.

'I want to,' she says and kneels before me. 'Erica, will you marry me?'

'Yes. I will.'

Tears are streaming, I can barely speak. She places the ring on my finger. I kiss her and we hear applause from up the beach--a group of people our age are cheering for us!

We giggle and go all mushy and then make our way back to the Fishing Museum where her family is waiting for us:

'Wanna see my ring?!'

From Cry of the Gulls, in Fowey, Cornwall. Picked out in April 2009.

Silver and rose gold ring by Les Grimshaw.

Too excited to take pictures,
we only have this one of both of us!

Celebratory sweets from Sweet Boutique, strawberry flavored, of course!
(And some pineapple for good measure...)

Rainbow Cupcakes!

2009-07-10T17:57:00.001+01:00

Rainbow Cupcakes

Checking up on the latest at So You're EnGAYged, Alex and I both, separately, stumbled upon these amazing cupcakes. If traditional English fruit cake is our wedding cake for the UK wedding, I don't see why we can't have the 'groom's cake,' i.e. the California Bride's cake be a stack of rainbow cupcakes, right? So mouth-wateringly tempting.

A Good Reason

2009-07-07T10:43:00.007+01:00

Last week I wrote about how Alex and I have been dreaming about getting legally hitched along the Thames River at London's famous City Hall. I also wrote that it would take a very good reason for us not to get married there. Turns out there is a very good reason: London City Hall doesn't have a wedding license.

Alex & City Hall, before we knew we couldn't get married there.

This fact checking came about last week as I started a preliminary budget for our UK wedding. Alex was home and she was been interested to know how much 'the legal bit' costs. So we Googled it. Googled again. And then Googled some more trying to find any helpful information.

Finally, we rang the civil partnership number on one of the official London sites and spoke with a lovely lady at the Registrar in Islington (a borough of London) about our inquiry regarding London City Hall. After Alex explained that we meant the City Hall on the Thames, 'you know, the famous one,' she rang us back a few hours later, 'after extensive research' she said, to tell us that she was 99% sure that London City Hall didn't have a wedding license--i.e. we couldn't get legally hitched there.

Ultimately bummed, we still thanked her profusely. If our online research was at all telling of the bureaucratic mess of London wedding licenses, she'd been through a lot to get us that answer.

In the interim, Alex and I had changed modes and started looking at (non-legal) wedding locations in Cornwall to consider where we might hold a separate, more intimate ceremony as well as the dancing. Turns out most of the locations in Fowey are smaller than we had thought or been (in our heads) planning for.

As it is right now, we're left with lots of questions to be answered and without a clear picture on where any of this celebratory dancing may take place. Still, the woman at the borough of Islington was very nice (and they actually hold civil ceremonies at her office) and we've got time in August to look around Fowey for a place to hold the dancing. Since we both have intense loads of academic work at the moment, maybe putting off the big chunks of planning until then isn't such a bad idea. It won't stop us dreaming though...

Legally Hitched

2009-06-30T15:38:00.006+01:00

(In a big, booming voice)
Behold, London City Hall:

Tower Bridge (left), City Hall (right)

On my way to a friend's house last night, I was keeping an eye out for my directional landmark, Tower Bridge--the world's *cough* England's *cough* most famous bridge (What can I say? It's not the Golden Gate.)--and had simply forgotten that London's also well-known, helmet-shaped City Hall is practically right next to it. I've seen City Hall many times before, but mostly from the opposite side of the river and I am usually in the midst of making some architectural joke about it. Last night, however, I just melted into mush and dialed Alex's mobile.

'Guess where I'm walking by,' I told her.

'Umm...London Bridge?' she replied from her study-induced state.

'City Hall,' I said.

'Oh! [but in that really cute adorable mushy kind of way] Really?' came her response.

'Yeah. I suddenly realized that might be where we get married...' I said.

Having talked about getting 'legally hitched' before the big party, Alex and I have so far come up with London City Hall as our ceremonial pick. Given last night's response, I think it might have to be a pretty good reason not to get legally hitched there, a picturesque wedding along the Thames.

The Guest List before the Venue

2009-06-23T11:43:00.008+01:00

By the time I proposed to Alex on Easter Sunday, everyone in the Crisp house was just ready to celebrate--enough of this waiting stuff, don't even think about planning yet! It was a bit of a different story though when a few weekends later we were down in Fowey again and found ourselves attending a beautiful masked ball at the Eden Project.

Shameless photo opportunity...

The event room overlooked the old clay mine, the gardens and biomes and thoughts of wedding dinners and dances swam through our heads. It could have been a few glasses of wine or adrenaline from all the dancing, but I asked for a venue hire brochure.

While the excitement at the possibility of such a venue mixed with the horror of the cost, Alex's mum asked, 'Well, how many people are you inviting?'

Ha, good question. Half of California and all of Fowey?

Not knowing exactly where to start with who-comes-to-what, we set out to make the biggest list possible of anyone and everyone we could possibly think of that would want to dance at our wedding. (Have I mentioned there will be dancing...?)

We spent our afternoon and train ride home making 'The List' or, as we called it, 'LoveFest Guest List,' including categories like Erica's Family (83), Alex's Family (28), Fowey People, Y-Town, The Ladies (E), Santa Cruz (A), Marin, VIPs (E), London, More to Life, and Ireland. Of course, there were subcategories within subcategories at some points, but Alex's handy Mind Maps (which she uses for her PA studies), well, came in handy.

Behold, LoveFest Guest List:

I'm beginning to really love Mind Maps...

If you're wondering why you can't really read it, even when blown up, it's cause there's a total of 330 names on there. And we're still not sure we got everyone.

While your reaction to a 330 person guest list probably depends on your family's versions of a wedding, I wasn't that shocked: it is a guest list for TWO weddings afterall.

Still, we did just make the 'Basic UK Guest List' which included 153 people getting invites, expecting about 106. (We like to be exact around here.)

So, if you'd like to receive a UK invite--cause it will be pretty--or you would prefer to go international in your celebratory dancing, speak now or in the coming months: next step is to pick a venue that won't be rained out in April.

An Official Official Wedding Blogger

2009-06-16T23:28:00.003+01:00

While there aren't exactly any brand new developments in Alex and my wedding planning per say, there are new developments for me in the wedding blog-o-sphere: You're reading the new blogger for the gay wedding blog, So You're EnGAYged! Apparently, I can't get enough of writing about my impending weddings.

But in all seriousness, I do think it's pretty cool. With what feels like the constant and endless debates that surround gay marriage in this current moment, I am glad that I can give my voice--and our story--as part of a movement towards visibility. This blog is part of that. Joining a community--albeit an online community blog--is another. You'll still get more of the juicy bits here, but if you're interested in what other queer and allied folk are doing for their ceremonies, check out So You're EnGAYged. And if you want to read yet another telling of how Alex and I fell in love, you can find that here: Introducing a New Blogger: Erica.

New Napkins & Vintage Vases

2009-06-12T22:49:00.006+01:00

I tell ya, right now, the ideas are flowing, and my thoughts on napkins and vases are my current favorite. Most days I check a few different craft blogs I admire and a few weeks ago, I found a post on The Purl Bee that made my fingers start to itch with excitement: hand-made napkins!

Ok, maybe the sound of it might not have the same effect on you, but check out this table setting:

Gorgeous. One of the ladies of The Purl Bee, Jen, used a variety of fabrics to make the napkins for each place setting at her wedding. The guests got to take them home as wedding favors if they wanted and she had enough left over to make a wedding quilt for herself. While the quilt seems like a lot of work right now, the napkins feel like they could be such an enjoyable venture! (Especially if I get my Y-town quilting ladies to help me.)

The napkins would add such color to the tables (right now we're thinking deep purple tulips would be perfect in the UK for April--maybe purple & green, a little pink for me?). Plus, I bet I could find the majority of the fabric at second-hand shops in Yreka (or gladly visit my fav quilt shop in Mt. Shasta, Sew Unique). I'm also thinking that my growing collection of clear glass vases (mostly from second-hand shops as well, or ones people I have known didn't want at one point or another) would be perfect for an ecletic mix of table arrangements.

The Best Bro

2009-06-09T10:48:00.012+01:00

Almost more exciting than getting to marry Alex--almost--is that my one and only younger brother Paul, or 'Bud' as I call him (I don't know where the name came from), is going to be my legal witness and best man for the UK gettin' hitched ceremony! I really couldn't wait until I see him in September to ask him in person so I opted for catching him on the phone last Sunday. His response: 'I think that might be the more important/coolest thing I've done with my 18-year-old-ness!'

Paul's Senior Prom, 2008

Being the modest person I am, I agree.

While I'm not exactly sure what his legal witness/best man duties will be, I'm thinking a rocking tie and a choreographed swing dance for the reception. What d'ya think, Paul?

Who Leads

2009-06-05T10:59:00.006+01:00

When Alex and I got to Jitterbugs on Wednesday night, we were a few minutes late and the lines had already formed: boys on one side facing the girls on the other. We were there to watch a friend perform (Carla Viegas and the Big Swing Band), learn to dance the Lindy Hop, but also how to dance with each other.

With one of our biggest mutual loves being music and dancing, I have long dreamed of taking ballroom dance lessons with Alex. As wedding plans are slowly simmering, Jitterbugs seemed the perfect opportunity to start on the right foot, so to speak, towards dancing to Nina Simone and Patty Griffin, let alone the Glenn Miller Orchestra, on our big day. I just hadn't remembered that it would probably be a boys & girls set up!

I quickly looked at Alex: "Who's gonna lead?!"

Her reply: "You. You always lead."

Not the answer I was looking for. Yes, I do always lead, but that's because I've taken swing dance lessons before. I wanted to follow and do all the twirling bits! But, with the instructor already going through the '1-2-triple step-triple step,' I took a deep breath and high-tailed my high heels and low-cut shirt to the boys side.

After I answered the affirmative to the instructor's "Do you want to lead all night?" and the majority of the women danced graciously to my shabby lead, I was ready to take Alex for a spin on the dance floor. Unfortunately, everybody else was ready to jive as well and tonight was not their first night--leading or following.

We did, however, manage to get in a few rounds of the routine we had learned (separately) in the dance lessons and I do rather like holding Alex in my arms. I think we'll be back to Jitterbugs for a few more go-rounds--it was good fun, after all-- but I might also start looking into some other come-with-your-partner-and-learn-to-dance-only-with-her lessons as well. By the looks of it, we're not the only couple-to-be that books some dance lessons before their first dance.

And while part of me still wants to be twirled in my wedding dress when the big day comes, there is a little part of me that giggles inside at the girl in the dress doing the leading.

***
In terms of dance lessons that are same-sex friendly/oriented in London, I've found 3 so far. Anyone know of any more?
ACW Dance Studio
Pink Jukebox
Come Out Dancing

Rainbow Garters & Earrings

2009-06-03T15:59:00.006+01:00

My cousin Karin just happened to be trolling Etsy the other day looking for No on Prop 8 garb and sent me the link to the most amazing garters I have ever seen:

Same-Sex Wedding Garter Set
PetereneDesign on Etsy

Of course, I think I also need these Swarovski Shame on H8 earrings:

Rainbow over Sacramento - Shame on H8
AlaineJewelry on Etsy

Finding the Perfect Ring

2009-06-03T14:55:00.015+01:00

Not gonna lie, I started to look for a ring for Alex in July 2008. While I knew she was the one for me ever so early, it was after a three-week stay with me in Los Angeles (where I was living at the time) that prompted my search: I just wasn't gonna let this girl go. There also might have been some time to kill in between restuarant work and the endless summer hours in my aluminum trailer...

Wanting to head down an eco-conscious route from the start, I began looking into recycled materials and conflict-free diamonds. One of my ladies from university, Knits with Carrots, is my go-to girl for anything ethical and so when I asked her about where I might start to look, she pointed me to Brilliant Earth, Dawes Designs, Green Karat, and Etsy.

Realizing after I'd been dazzled by diamonds that Alex probably didn't want any bling, I thought I'd combine money with politics instead and looked up Love and Pride, an online jewelry and accessory store where 10% of the profits are donated to LGBT orgs like Lambda Legal and the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Of course, I found one I liked for me:

18k White Gold 3 Stone Spiral Ring, Love and Pride

The search still continued, but it brought me back to Etsy, my favorite place for all things handmade. I figured what could it hurt to type in "tree bark wedding ring" just to see what came up, right?

Why "tree bark wedding ring," you might ask? Well, I'd already decided where I was going to propose too, beneath this:

St. Catherine's Castle, 14 February 2008

Lo and behold, Etsy delivered and I had the absolute pleasure of finding Beth Cyr's jewelry, the Athens, Georgia, creator of--wait for it--the tree bark wedding ring. Not only that, but Beth's first wedding set was for two lovely ladies in Georgia and she was a such joy to get to know over the course of designing Alex's engagement ring.

The end result was perfect.

A&E

Tied with a ribbon, 11 April 2009

Sitting Down with the Folks

2009-06-01T17:44:00.005+01:00

I've written about having lunch with Alex's parents before popping the question over at So You're Engayged--check it out!

The Proposal Story

2009-06-01T10:07:00.002+01:00

E: On March 31st, I sat down with Alex’s parents for a chat (more on that later) in St. James’s Park in front of Buckingham Palace. Alex had no idea.

A: I had no idea.

E: We arranged for Easter Sunday to be the day; they would be around the corner, waiting, with champagne to celebrate with us and family friends, S&J.

A: I had no idea. I was busy celebrating being 25.

E: Alex and I arrived in Fowey on Thursday for Easter weekend. It was torture not telling her anything about the plans–so I told all my classmates in London instead!

A: I was just happy to be in Fowey at last!

…Easter weekend…

A: The weather is beautiful on Easter Sunday. We’ve finished our Sunday roast and decide to go for a walk up to the St. Catherine’s Castle, except I don’t want to go.

E: I quickly convince Alex that it is a GOOD idea to go for a walk–we can visit the big oak tree after all!–and today is a very special day for me: Easter reminds of a time when you can build your own kind of family and today I am here with her.

A: So off we go, with the rest of the family up ahead: Mum, Dad, S&J.

E: I haven’t been nervous up to this point. Just excited. Really excited. But now I’m nervous, and walking really fast!

A: I still have no idea. I’m just happy walking along with my love.

E: We get to the tree–and no one’s around, phew. The ring’s in my pocket. I had a speech planned, but that’s all gone out of my head at this point. I look at my love.

A: She hangs my jacket over a branch of the tree, looks into my eyes and says: ‘Alex, I honour you. I want to go on this journey with you.’ |And then she gets down on one knee–at which point I forget how to breathe, and start crying–and she says ‘Alex, will you marry me?’ And she pulls out the ring.

E: Meanwhile, I’m freaking out and trying to remember all the bits I wanted to say–like ‘Alexandra’ not ‘Alex,’ and the romantic leading-up bit about having found the love of my life–and now my left knee is kind of wet and she says ‘But I’m wearing mascara! Are you serious?’ Yep, she is (and it’s not running) and I am serious.

A: And then I say ‘Yes.’

E: And then she says ‘Yes’… but I’m not sure I believe her. So I ask her again, as I untie the ring from its ribbon.

A: And I say ‘Yes, without hesitation.’

E: Then we kiss!

A: Our first kiss as fiancés!

E & A: We don’t take any pictures, but there’s more talking and hugging and kissing and we go round the corner to the shelter on the cliff above St. Catherine’s castle and enjoy champagne and strawberries and chocolate Easter eggs in the beautiful Cornish sunshine.