Secondly, the extra yard of fabric I ordered from The English Department for my wedding dress arrived today! A yard of Shantung silk in 'Snow' from Jenny Yoo for 'Bride: Erica Gillingham' was pretty exciting to see in my hands. (I'm still not used to being called 'a bride,' particularly by shop owners and businesses. I'm not sure I always like it; more on that in a minute.)
The English DepartmentShop front in Portland, OR. (Photo via site.)
The extra fabric means that I can now change the straps on my dress to a wider, more sophisticated style which will also allow me to pin a corsage/boutonniere (instead of carrying a bouquet; see Ceremony Gender Flips if you want to hear more of my thoughts) to my beautiful dress!
For the alterations, I've just spoken with the ladies at Luellas' Boudoir in Wimbledon. Rachel Attwell's shop caught my eye from the window of the 493 Bus on my way to university each day. When my home-town friend, Leslie, came to visit me in London, we took a trip over there and really enjoyed chatting to Rachel and checking out their range of accessories and new dresses.
This, of course, was BEFORE I proposed... Still, I remembered the pleasant interaction (which included telling her about proposing to my girlfriend; not sure she'd heard that one before!) and have made a tentative appointment to have my dress looked at for alterations by their designer.
For the alterations, I've just spoken with the ladies at Luellas' Boudoir in Wimbledon. Rachel Attwell's shop caught my eye from the window of the 493 Bus on my way to university each day. When my home-town friend, Leslie, came to visit me in London, we took a trip over there and really enjoyed chatting to Rachel and checking out their range of accessories and new dresses.
This, of course, was BEFORE I proposed... Still, I remembered the pleasant interaction (which included telling her about proposing to my girlfriend; not sure she'd heard that one before!) and have made a tentative appointment to have my dress looked at for alterations by their designer.
With all the goodness continuing to abound (ease of picking things out, items arriving on time and in one piece), I still have two concerns:
1. Where to go for alterations: While Luella's Boudoir has been on my list of places to visit with Alex (or without her and with my friend Julie--there are some things Alex isn't supposed to see before the big day!), there is part of me that feels hesistant to have my dress altered there. Will it be more expensive because it's a 'wedding boutique' and not a tailors? Possibly. Possibly not.
Another part of me keeps thinking of all the tailors in my own area of London--there are two practically across the street from me after all! Still the tailors in my area are either housed in dry cleaning shops or specialize in saris or West African formal dresses, not American wedding dresses, and a third part of me wants to ensure I'll get the vintage look I want with the strap alterations and have a bit of the fuss of being in a bridal shop. Luella's, I think it will be.
2. Here comes the bride--shopping (or Who's the Groom?): I have had a particular pre-occupation the last few weeks about the intense focus on THE BRIDE in not only all the wedding advertizing and websites (think of all the Bridal magazines out there) but also with the promotions of vendors. For example, wedding photographers: it feels like half of their 'wedding galleries' are close up shots of the bride getting ready, standing in a window, posing coyly, oh yeah, and then with the groom. And the groom? Aren't there two people in a wedding? Isn't a wedding supposed to be about than how pretty the bride looks?! SO frustrating!
But it's not just frustrating aimlessly. It's frustrating for two reasons I've been able to pinpoint so far:
Firstly, I have started to feel that the word 'bride,' like the word 'wedding,' equals huge dollar/pound signs, blown-up ideas and mass marketing. With this interpretation then, every time I heard/read the word 'bride' or are in fact called a bride by shop owners, I just feel like a walking, gullable money purse just waiting to be plucked. As if all the wedding photographers, jewellers or wedding boutiques have to do is make me feel special enough so that I won't bat an eye at a few extra accessories along with a few extra hundred pounds missing from our pockets. Gross, right?
Secondly, no matter how many deep breaths I take, it still sucks to see an online form (try wedding registries, blogs, or even Luella's Boudoir's contact email) which ask for the 'Bride's name' and the 'Groom's name.' I know not all wedding vendors are going to support, let alone include, same-sex couples wanting to get hitched, but it is frustrating that even in a country where every same-sex couple has the right to a legal union, those couples get left out.
Considering the last point, our solution has been for Alex or myself to put me as 'The Groom' (again, see Ceremony Gender Flips) but it's still mentally exhausting work to be OK with it, to even fill it in because for as much as I may think I am a walking, money bag 'bride,' I'm still not the bride the advertisements are for--no matter which side of the alter I stand on.
1. Where to go for alterations: While Luella's Boudoir has been on my list of places to visit with Alex (or without her and with my friend Julie--there are some things Alex isn't supposed to see before the big day!), there is part of me that feels hesistant to have my dress altered there. Will it be more expensive because it's a 'wedding boutique' and not a tailors? Possibly. Possibly not.
Another part of me keeps thinking of all the tailors in my own area of London--there are two practically across the street from me after all! Still the tailors in my area are either housed in dry cleaning shops or specialize in saris or West African formal dresses, not American wedding dresses, and a third part of me wants to ensure I'll get the vintage look I want with the strap alterations and have a bit of the fuss of being in a bridal shop. Luella's, I think it will be.
2. Here comes the bride--shopping (or Who's the Groom?): I have had a particular pre-occupation the last few weeks about the intense focus on THE BRIDE in not only all the wedding advertizing and websites (think of all the Bridal magazines out there) but also with the promotions of vendors. For example, wedding photographers: it feels like half of their 'wedding galleries' are close up shots of the bride getting ready, standing in a window, posing coyly, oh yeah, and then with the groom. And the groom? Aren't there two people in a wedding? Isn't a wedding supposed to be about than how pretty the bride looks?! SO frustrating!
But it's not just frustrating aimlessly. It's frustrating for two reasons I've been able to pinpoint so far:
Firstly, I have started to feel that the word 'bride,' like the word 'wedding,' equals huge dollar/pound signs, blown-up ideas and mass marketing. With this interpretation then, every time I heard/read the word 'bride' or are in fact called a bride by shop owners, I just feel like a walking, gullable money purse just waiting to be plucked. As if all the wedding photographers, jewellers or wedding boutiques have to do is make me feel special enough so that I won't bat an eye at a few extra accessories along with a few extra hundred pounds missing from our pockets. Gross, right?
Secondly, no matter how many deep breaths I take, it still sucks to see an online form (try wedding registries, blogs, or even Luella's Boudoir's contact email) which ask for the 'Bride's name' and the 'Groom's name.' I know not all wedding vendors are going to support, let alone include, same-sex couples wanting to get hitched, but it is frustrating that even in a country where every same-sex couple has the right to a legal union, those couples get left out.
Considering the last point, our solution has been for Alex or myself to put me as 'The Groom' (again, see Ceremony Gender Flips) but it's still mentally exhausting work to be OK with it, to even fill it in because for as much as I may think I am a walking, money bag 'bride,' I'm still not the bride the advertisements are for--no matter which side of the alter I stand on.
Hey Erika, I know that shop (the English Dept.) It's next door to the hotel where I work as a caterer! Small world, no? They have some lovely things there too =)
ReplyDeleteI feel you on the whole 'Mrs. Moneybags' thing. Much of what we cater in the summers are large weddings costing many thousands of dollars. I remember seeing a bill for a cake (serving 300) it was well over $1000. It left me wondering where all the money comes from, and where it goes!
I love that you work at the Hotel around the corner! Is it the one above Stump Town?
ReplyDeleteYour sentiment expresses my concern exactly: where does it come from and where does it go! It was great to get your comment!
It's the 'Governor Hotel'. It was built in the early 1900's and modeled after an Italian Palace so really cool architecture. I work on the Catering for banquets and meetings and such. I'm still hoping to get a gay wedding/union/commitment ceremony but most of what I work are traditional and multi-ethnic wedding ceremonies. Really cool Romanian and Indian weddings though!
ReplyDelete