UK Wedding Update!

Whew--the wedding planning is on a serious roll. A check list for as much your enjoyment as to save my sanity!

Wedding Dress: As you know, bought my dress in September in Portland and brought it back with me to London; loved Luella's Boudoir too much not to take it there for alterations and ended up meeting the lovely Kat who altered the straps and hemmed it. Let me tell ya: I loved it when I bought; when I tried it on after all the alterations were complete, I've never felt more beautiful.

Wedding Suit: After months of talking about Gresham Blake's women's suits, Alex, her mum and I went down to Brighton weekend before last to have Alex try on a few (and for me to get some much desired frozen yogurt). I did see her in variations of a 3 piece suit, but not sized to her and in a different color--so technically not seeing her before the big day, right? She settled on a 3 piece suit in an oatmeal wool with lilac lining to be ordered asap! Eek! She's gonna look gorgeous...

Wedding Shoes: My shoes for the UK wedding are sorted (purple and lovely) while Alex is still deciding to wear red or not wear red. I think it'll help once she's got her suit to try them on with.

Hair: While some of you may not have seen the veil experience, I have decided no veil. Instead, I've ordered and received a gorgeous purple flower for my hair. Plus, had the hair trial with Tiko Lilly in Fowey over Christmas and booked in for the day of the wedding--yay!

Ceremony Venue: Well, you've heard the Marina Hotel had sold. It's definitely officially, definitely a construction site in April, and we've definitely moved to The Fowey Hotel. And actually, my Aunt R was right: it is a blessing in disguise--bigger room, same cost, extras like flowers and chair covers, wider views, and kick-ass honeymoon suit. Check out So You're Engayged for the updates on what happened 'When Your Wedding Venue Gets Sold: Parts 1-3.' All in all: Yeah Fowey Hotel! Bring on the cava and strawberries and make way for the magnificient Clare Murphy to weave her storytelling magic...

Reception Venue: Gallant's Sailing Club it is. Andrea is on it for how to decorate it and somehow we're gonna squeeze around 80 people in. It'll work. I'm just looking forward to the good food, DJ Guy, and the dance floor that opens up onto the balcony. Cross your fingers for warm weather!

Photographer: Over Christmas, we met with John from Cornish Wedding Photography and got along swimmingly. He's down to earth, shoots gorgeous lanscapes, and is totally up for being our wedding photographer! Plus, he really liked 2 of the places in Alex's house--the landing on the stairs and the garden stairs--that we want photos taken. Good times.

DJ: Speaking DJ Guy (not sure if that's his actual DJ name, it's just what I'm gonna call him here) is a friend of Alex and her brother's from way back. We went to the club he DJ'd in Bristol for New Years and his collection of vinyls and iPod were funky and classic. He's up for requests and Alex's sister wants to bring along a few of her vinyls to share in the mix. Dancing. Can you tell we like dancing? Also, Alex's sister-in-law, Erica (not from America), has agreed to sing at the reception (Yay!). We've still to figure out what, but we're getting there. There is talk of 'The Rose'... (Mom & Kay, I'm looking at you...)

Food: After the ceremony, The Fowey Hotel is providing cava & strawberries as well as cream tea (scones, Cornish clotted cream, and jam + sandwiches) later on in the afternoon during storytelling. Yum. For dinner, we're in the process of ordering a selection of meats, cheeses, stuffed peppers, quiches, salads, breads, mini Cornish Pasties (pronounced p-aaa-sties, like past) from family friends Sue and Becky from Bellamama Deli in Lostwithiel. Double Yum.

Cake: The cake order is also in the process from Alex's aunt: 2 layers of Traditional English wedding cake, white marzipan, purple & green ribbons, fresh tulips, and letterpress cake topper in A & E. Woot!

Rings: Just ordered our wedding rings today. They are gorgeous, diamond-free, recycled metals, Etsy found. Check them out. Of course, we couldn't resist a few extra goodies from the same designer, Jesse Danger.

Invitations: All I can say on the invitations is I'm glad we didn't order them BEFORE we found out the Marina Villa had sold; luckily, it was the same day. We have also officially ordered them today though and Baumbirdy on Etsy is rocking the quick order. Those of you expecting UK invites, they'll be to you in early March.

*Breath* Holy moly, that's a lot of stuff we've done! Things still need to be confirmed, smaller fiddly-bits (like jewellry, table decorations, hen night, etc) are still needing to be planned, but really, we are doing damn good. On the day we went to try on suits for Alex, it was 3 months until the wedding. There are moments when that timeline causes a bit of a panic; other times, I can hardly wait.

A Few Good Things

Hello lovelies.

It has been a long 10 days since I had anything exciting to post, and really that was mostly due to the amount of time available. Good things have continued to happen, however, albeit one venue hiccup. Well, I would call it a hiccup, Alex has used stronger language. You see, the hotel that has been our scheduled wedding venue, The Marina Villa Hotel in Fowey, was up for sale (apparently it was mentioned once when we were looking at it)--and, well, today a sale went through on the hotel to turn it into a B&B. In short, the changing of the owners means a changing of interiors which means construction in April which means a changing of venue for our wedding.

Maybe I'm glossing over how perfectly we felt this venue fit our wedding--its snazzy interiors, top notch food, deal of a corkage fee and meters upon meters of deck on the river. And, well, maybe this is just fate playing its part. You see, there are two other hotels we have looked at and can look at again for our wedding ceremony, this time with a different view and different expectations. One which might offer a larger room for the ceremony (bonus as the guest list keeps growing) and one offereing a more central spot on the river, and really it's a matter of changing our perspective on what we want. We haven't yet officially spoken with the manager of the Marina Villa Hotel yet, but given that the village is so small, he relied the already worried about news concerning the sale of our perfect wedding venue. The other upside is that given again that the village is so small, he might be able to pull a few strings for us. The result of that conversation you can be assured I will tell you.

Aside from venue unknownness, we have confirmed our reception venue of Gallants Sailing Club (woot!), met with our potential (and likely) photographer today (will explain soon), and I've picked up my wedding dress from alterations!

Today John Walmsley of Cornish Wedding Photography came to the house for a meet-up and chat about generally wedding photo stuff. He was absolutely wonderful. We had a good hour chat with him in the sitting room over tea, coffee and cheese, chatting about what the plans were for the day, taking another look at his portfolio (this time in the print), and getting to know a little about each other really. John is a landscape photographer, but as he so honestly put it, taking pictures of mountains don't pay the bills; weddings, on the other hand, do. What this does mean though is that the gorgeous scenery of Fowey will captured along with us on our wedding day, and the guy knows his lighting. We haven't officially booked him yet, pending a conversation with the parents, but for Alex and I--he's a go.

In wedding attire news, I picked up my dress this last week from Luella's Boudoir where the fabulous Kat did my hemming and strap alterations and I can tell you, I haven't been so excited about my dress since I bought it! I mean, I didn't buy it that long ago, and yet the excitement came bubbling up again! I'm absolutely in love. Also, for those who may not know about the veil debate (will be posting on SYE about it soon, so Alex won't see), I've decided on the no-veil route and ordered a lovely purple flower broach for my hair! So hoping I love it as much when it arrives from the Etsy vendor Mollusa. Look:

I'm also currently looking for necklace ideas, but they'll come too... Oh! I didn't tell you the best part of my hair piece: My brother and Best Bro, Paul, (along with his girl, Katie) found it for me online! He truly knows the way to help me perfect my 'look.' And, in case you were wondering, I will write about Alex's outfit when it comes together (and about much of it as I can know), but a trip to Brighton and Gresham Blake has yet to be made...

In other fun news:

• Alex's wedding gift arrived in gorgeous condition from an etsy vendor. (Yes, I'll write about it after the day!)
• Martha Stewart Wedding, Winter 2010 featured their first gay wedding!
• Washington DC passed gay marriage!
• Alex received Christmas cards from BOTH her grandmothers addressed to BOTH of us. (My G'ma and fam are cool, but we weren't so sure about Alex's grandmas--this is the first time Grannie's written my name!)
• Alex completely spoiled me for my birthday weekend on Saturday/Sunday--a whole day out of food and fun, lots of very thoughtful, London-themed presents (including Burberry 'The Beat' perfume--Yay!), and pink bubbly with friends at a local pub!

And in case you missed our faces:

Adorable photo of us on my birthday-celebration day

OMG Shoes -- The Pictures

Our shoes have a little story: Over the course of the last five weeks, Alex and I have been on team for a Mastery Course with the More to Life programme. We each had various jobs: audio, props, hospitality, etc--and apparently finding our wedding shoes. One of the teachers, H, for the course has not only become an inspiration to each of us in our lives, but she's is also a serious fashion inspiration! Dressing so smartly for each session, H rocked each session with the material--and her outfits.

As it happens, H wears a lot of deep reds and purples (if I'm not mistaken, they are part of the late winter palette she was given when she had her colours done). Alex's favorite color, as you may know by now, is red which she wants to accent with at the CA wedding. She has also been looking for broughes/wing tips. My favorite color is generally green, but for our UK wedding, I have been looking for little purple kitten heels to match our colors there of purple and green (based on dark purple tulips).

So, when H show showed up the first week wearing chunky heel, patent leather, two tone broughes/wing tips both of our jaws dropped. Then our mouths fell open again when she said she had bought them at the same time as another pair of heels: dark purple suede kitten heels.

Well, upon seeing the second pair the following week of Mastery, we were sold and booked a lunch date with H to go shoe shopping! Twenty minutes or less in the shop and we had our shoes!!

Alex's shoes--if you know her at all,
you'd know how incredible it is that she bought heels!

So sweet and adorable,
I'm already breaking them in around the house.

As for the specifics, I'm definitely wearing my to the UK wedding only, but Alex is torn about how many times/when/where to wear hers. Irregardless, we couldn't be more excited about SHOES!

Update: Also blogged about on So You're EnGAYged!

OMG Shoes

We bought our wedding shoes!!

AND our lives are crazy busy right now--and awesome. So for a full-blog substitute, please accepts this ode to shoes, if you will:

For California--and Maine

Yesterday, the State of Maine passed Question 1, a measure similar to Prop 8 denying same-sex couples the right to marry in their state. My reaction since I heard the news was just to ignore it; to even consider to take in the news felt like too much to handle.

I had forgotten what last November felt like: the tension, the queasiness, the disbelief and anger. I had forgotten that I could barely stand going to work at City Hall that week, keeping my mouth shut, and so thankful I could escape down to Santa Cruz that following weekend. I wonder if someone in Maine is in the same shock as I was; I wonder if they'll have a place to escape to and know they are loved.

I don't remember if it was after the election or after the start of this blog that myself or someone else (cousin?) found these earrings on Etsy: Rainbow over Sacramento, Shame on H8. The entire purchase price is donated by the artist to overturn Prop.8 in California. I couldn't afford them whenever I saw them first, but today I woke up thinking about Maine, feeling that pit in my stomach, and decided to buy them.

Purchasing power: I am still grappling with the concept of using capitalism as a mode through which to effect change. And yet, how can it not be when my money goes directly to funding a movement for change, a change for the acceptance of love.

The money may go towards funding California's freedom to marry as a result of this purchasing power, but, Maine, I bought these for you. I had forgotten what it felt like to have love lose out, and you were the reminder. I will wear these on my wedding days, legal and not, and remember.

Rainbow over Sacramento - Shame on H8
AlaineJewelry on Etsy

Tuesday's Wedding Ponderings

First of all, someecards is hilarious--and always reliable for a good gay laugh. Case in point: They are now doing wedding invitations. Alex and I should have gone there instead of Etsy! My favorite reads: 'Please be our guests for some state-sanctioned girl-on-girl nuptials' and depicts two women kissing in princess hats! Hilarious!

Secondly, the extra yard of fabric I ordered from The English Department for my wedding dress arrived today! A yard of Shantung silk in 'Snow' from Jenny Yoo for 'Bride: Erica Gillingham' was pretty exciting to see in my hands. (I'm still not used to being called 'a bride,' particularly by shop owners and businesses. I'm not sure I always like it; more on that in a minute.)

The English Department
Shop front in Portland, OR. (Photo via site.)

The extra fabric means that I can now change the straps on my dress to a wider, more sophisticated style which will also allow me to pin a corsage/boutonniere (instead of carrying a bouquet; see Ceremony Gender Flips if you want to hear more of my thoughts) to my beautiful dress!

For the alterations, I've just spoken with the ladies at Luellas' Boudoir in Wimbledon. Rachel Attwell's shop caught my eye from the window of the 493 Bus on my way to university each day. When my home-town friend, Leslie, came to visit me in London, we took a trip over there and really enjoyed chatting to Rachel and checking out their range of accessories and new dresses.

Luella's Boudoir
Shop front in Wimbledon, London (Photo via site.)

This, of course, was BEFORE I proposed... Still, I remembered the pleasant interaction (which included telling her about proposing to my girlfriend; not sure she'd heard that one before!) and have made a tentative appointment to have my dress looked at for alterations by their designer.

With all the goodness continuing to abound (ease of picking things out, items arriving on time and in one piece), I still have two concerns:

1. Where to go for alterations: While Luella's Boudoir has been on my list of places to visit with Alex (or without her and with my friend Julie--there are some things Alex isn't supposed to see before the big day!), there is part of me that feels hesistant to have my dress altered there. Will it be more expensive because it's a 'wedding boutique' and not a tailors? Possibly. Possibly not.

Another part of me keeps thinking of all the tailors in my own area of London--there are two practically across the street from me after all! Still the tailors in my area are either housed in dry cleaning shops or specialize in saris or West African formal dresses, not American wedding dresses, and a third part of me wants to ensure I'll get the vintage look I want with the strap alterations and have a bit of the fuss of being in a bridal shop. Luella's, I think it will be.

2. Here comes the bride--shopping (or Who's the Groom?): I have had a particular pre-occupation the last few weeks about the intense focus on THE BRIDE in not only all the wedding advertizing and websites (think of all the Bridal magazines out there) but also with the promotions of vendors. For example, wedding photographers: it feels like half of their 'wedding galleries' are close up shots of the bride getting ready, standing in a window, posing coyly, oh yeah, and then with the groom. And the groom? Aren't there two people in a wedding? Isn't a wedding supposed to be about than how pretty the bride looks?! SO frustrating!

But it's not just frustrating aimlessly. It's frustrating for two reasons I've been able to pinpoint so far:

Firstly, I have started to feel that the word 'bride,' like the word 'wedding,' equals huge dollar/pound signs, blown-up ideas and mass marketing. With this interpretation then, every time I heard/read the word 'bride' or are in fact called a bride by shop owners, I just feel like a walking, gullable money purse just waiting to be plucked. As if all the wedding photographers, jewellers or wedding boutiques have to do is make me feel special enough so that I won't bat an eye at a few extra accessories along with a few extra hundred pounds missing from our pockets. Gross, right?

Secondly, no matter how many deep breaths I take, it still sucks to see an online form (try wedding registries, blogs, or even Luella's Boudoir's contact email) which ask for the 'Bride's name' and the 'Groom's name.' I know not all wedding vendors are going to support, let alone include, same-sex couples wanting to get hitched, but it is frustrating that even in a country where every same-sex couple has the right to a legal union, those couples get left out.

Considering the last point, our solution has been for Alex or myself to put me as 'The Groom' (again, see Ceremony Gender Flips) but it's still mentally exhausting work to be OK with it, to even fill it in because for as much as I may think I am a walking, money bag 'bride,' I'm still not the bride the advertisements are for--no matter which side of the alter I stand on.

Wedding Dresses!!!

So, I've done it: I've bought my wedding dress, and found the next one. The best part: I wasn't even trying to find a dress, let alone the dress or two dresses.

Basically, The English Department in Portland, OR rocked, the owner and designer, Elizabeth Dye pulling my perfect dress from the rack: "Dana" by Jenny Yoo. My friends and I fell in love instantly.

I tried it on that Tuesday, tried on the other dress Thursday, and bought it (in 'Snow,' not 'Garnet') on Friday. Now to change the straps on 'Dana' and order 'Jocelyn' (below) next summer! Bring on 2010!

Jocelyn in Poppy Red

And for those that are interested, it looks like the wedding dress total, for two dresses, will be well under $700 with both totally wearable or donate-able afterward. Yes!

Dog-Earring Pages of Dresses

Thumbing through wedding magazines can be really fun. It can be way overpriced and ridiculous, but way fun too. Alex and I have been dog-earring different pages from money saving tips to D.I.Y. ideas to wedding dresses for me (for the UK wedding).

So far this is my favorite. Anyone know where I can get the sewing pattern for Alfred Angelo's Style #1148...? Also, any other suggestions for where Alex can get a suit tailored in the UK?

Bi-Coastal Planning

Photo by C. Elizabeth Bors

Whew--it has been a busy couple of weeks. Firstly, Alex and I were in Fowey with her family enjoying the festivities of Royal Regatta week. Then we caught a train back to London on Monday to fly out to California on Tuesday--now we're with my family celebrating being home!

While much revelry took place in Fowey (as you may have guessed from the pirate costumes), we did tick off a few wedding "to-do's" from our list. Alex and I checked out the Fowey Hotel and Marina Villa for possibly ceremony locations and settled on the Marina Villa. We sat down with her folks to talk about our visions for the big day and crunched some numbers. We ate some really good food provided by family friends, Becky and Sue, and decided, yeah, we want them to do our wedding buffet and emailed Alex's aunt about baking our traditional wedding cake. Plus, we inquired about making reservations at various places around town!

Pinky Murphy's

Pinky Murphy's for post-wedding breakfast, the Dwelling House for pre-wedding tea, and the Old Quay House for our honeymoon suite. A busy week, but it was great to start laying some of the groundwork for the UK ceremony while we were actually in Fowey. As you've read, we've booked the registrar for April 17, 2010, and now we are setting the final details with the Marina Villa for the ceremony. Things are starting to fall into place!

Now that we're in California for a little bit, we've been kicking around some ideas for both the UK and CA weddings. So far, we've bought our first wedding magazine, The Knot, where I've dog-earred at least 7 pages already for dress ideas AND we've had engagement photos taken by none other than the wonderful Wyatt Olson!


With all that, we're off for the weekend, with much wedding conversation expected to ensue. So much to write about--can you tell I'm getting really excited?!?--and more formal posts as each of the details lock into place. Have a great weekend, y'all!

A Match Made in Piracy

Fowey Royal Regatta week, folks. Last days of our Cornish (pirate) holiday!

Brighton Finds

A weekend in Brighton with the lovely and newly civil-partnered J & E (Alex's sis and now sis-in-law!) proved wonderfully delightful for wedding ideas.

First, Greshman Blake, bespoke tailors. J got her wedding outfit from there and Alex is definitely pining for the same. We've been to their shop in Brighton a few times now, but after purusing their site just now, found out they have a by-appointment-only, London shop too!

Let's hope, though, Alex doesn't want the shotgun to go with her wedding outfit, too.

Next, the Lanes in Brighton are full of jewellry shops and on a last-ditch whim on Sunday, Alex, Christy and I found ourselves staring into the windows on an antique jewellers--and found a design we really, really like. Both of us. BOTH of us. It's exciting.

Of course, it being a second-hand ring, there was only one. Hence, it's just an idea, but a really good one. And one that we can take to preferably eco-friendly, conflict-free designers (Brilliant Earth, Green Karat, Leber Jeweler, Dawes Designs or the like*...) and use it as a possible starting point for a custom design.

And last, but not least, J&E passed on A Very Pink Wedding: A Gay Guide to Planning Your Perfect Day. I'm not sure they actually read the whole thing, and it may possibly be stressing me out a bit, but hey, it's nice to have a book for your kind of wedding.

Now I'm crossing my fingers Fowey will be as fruitful, but with wedding venues and dates this coming week!

*Hat tip to Robyn. It's no coincidence that she's born on Earth Day.

I Can't Wait Until I'm Married...

... so Alex and I can wear these awesome buttons!

It's a crazy time of exams (Alex is half way through her exams: written done, practical to come) and essays (3 down, 1 to go; due Monday)--and these buttons just make me smile. I keep imagining all the different reasons, occasions, and outfits with which we can wear these! And I'm going to email ButtonEmpire on Etsy right now to see if they can do the "The Dynamic Duo-1 Inch Buttons For Married Cool People" for two nerdy/crafty ladies! Cross your fingers for me!

(Translation side note: In England, buttons are called "badges." I'm still getting used to it.)

UPDATE: Amy from ButtonEmpire sent an awesome reply to my inquiry, set up a listing for my order, and I hit the "Commit to Buy" button. Now they're on their way to California with an additional surprise!

Rainbow Garters & Earrings

My cousin Karin just happened to be trolling Etsy the other day looking for No on Prop 8 garb and sent me the link to the most amazing garters I have ever seen:

Same-Sex Wedding Garter Set
PetereneDesign on Etsy

Of course, I think I also need these Swarovski Shame on H8 earrings:

Rainbow over Sacramento - Shame on H8
AlaineJewelry on Etsy